You’ll remember our tough contest round from last week, another high water mark in the annals of TeenyWitticisms.
Now it’s time to announce the proud winner, to call her forth from obscurity and crown her in front of the multitudes who will cheer and shower her with reality show contracts. Congratulations and adulations to our winner for this week:
fracas Says:
November 4th, 2007 at 2:46 am
“Size isn’t everything”
Camille Allen, a Powell River, BC artist, does incredibly lifelike baby sculptures, and has a small (ahem) sideline in miniatures. A couple of years ago an email went claiming that they were made out of marzipan but A) that’s not true; they are polymer and B) what right-thinking person would make edible babies?
This one is called Hale, and it comes to us from her website, via Darryl Smith at radio-active.net.
Captions in the comments, no blocking, no wimping.
You’ll remember our clucking fabulous family portrait from Friday. You should all be proud; not one of the captions was stronger than PG, despite the tempting subject material. Here now is the judge’s final verdict on the most amusing caption.
Sonia Says:
October 26th, 2007 at 3:32 pm
The best place is to pick up chicks is at the mall.
Congratulations! A double-drumstick salute to Sonia, our caption contest winner for the week! Don’t spend all your winnings in one place!
If you’ve got a pic you’d like featured in the Friday Caption Contest, just email it to me at raincoaster AT gmail DOT com and I’ll queue it up.
What I mean is, I’ll use it. I just like any excuse to type “queue.”
So thanks to a tip from my esteemed co-blogger Raincoaster, I was able to verify that Swarovski crystals do in fact contain 32% lead, so there are all kinds of stupid going on with this pacifier.
Even more stupid? That someone would pay $54.95 for it. Granted the website states that it should only be used under adult supervision, but babies can be pretty quick to pop something in their mouths. So unless “supervision” means being less than three inches away from the child at all times in readiness to grab it away at the slightest hint of a turn-around, I would never give this to a baby. And yet they are charging me fifty-five bucks for the chance for my kid to get lead poisoning!
So who wins?
Awesome Mom with the closest price of fifty bucks even! Brag away, my friend!
Captions in the comments. Keep it clean, play safe, some assembly required.
Unbeatable image heartlessly stolen from Daddy’sDiary
Thank you to the Manolo, raincoaster, and everyone who sent their postive thoughts our way. It worked! We are out of danger, and all signs point to it staying that way. Please keep in mind the hundreds of thousands displaced, and hope that the winds, which are the main reason the fires are out of control, die down very soon. Let us keep repeating “onshore flow, onshore flow” because that is what is most needed.
Now, what better way to keep my mind off of things than to hunt for an item for the newest edition of One Bid?
My friends, I present to you the most expensive, blingiest potential choking hazard you will ever see.
Because nothing says you love your infant daughter like a Swarovski-encrusted pacifier! Regular pacifiers are for suckers. Get it? Suckers?
Hey, cut me some slack, people.
The cabin fever we are experiencing here at Casa Glinda is torture. As soon as Glinda can leave the house without a face mask, the era of tacky jokes will be over, I promise.
But really, infants can be startlingly similar to crows, in that they are fascinated by shiny objects, and I could totally see this working to distract them. The downside is they would probably try to put the wrong side of it in their mouths.
And it seems that for some people, I must reiterate that you are not allowed to go over the actual retail price. If I was to ignore this crucial rule, the logic on which the universe is partly based, life as we know it may cease to exist. Just ask Bob Barker.
Guess away!
You will recall our fetching model for last week’s Friday Caption Contest. The judges have torn their hair out trying to decide which of the excellent captions should win, but they have finally cast their votes and it’s now time to announce the winner.
Phyllis Says:
October 19th, 2007 at 11:18 pm
“All right, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”
Congratulations to the winner of our tightest contest yet! Don’t let the glory go to your head, okay? As always, if you’d like your Teeny Iman featured in the Friday Caption Contest, just email a jpeg image to raincoaster at gmail dot com.
The first rule of Friday Caption Contest is: you don’t make cheap Fight Club references on a mommyblog.
You know how it works, people. Work it! Captions in the comments, winner announced on Monday after I recover from the Surrey International Writer’s Conference (ie not early).
This image comes to us from regular reader Susan, who explains that her daughter can make a hat out of virtually anything. Please, someone set this girl up with an apprenticeship with Philip Treacy; there’s money in them thar fripperies! Besides, I need someone to whip up something flattering to tuck the snakes into; the darn things won’t stay in a ponytail!