Ahhhhh Viggo, art thou unconquerable? The likes of Clive Owen, Jon Bon Jovi, Denzel Washington, and Laird Hamilton have fallen to those icy blue eyes.
Is there no one who can beat you?
Here’s model extraordinaire Tyson Beckford giving it his best shot. And really, it’s a very good shot. I mean, have you seen him without a shirt?
vs. 
Hey, the man has some experience. Here, he shows newbies Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson how to prepare for the arrival of their new baby.
Let’s list those tips, for those who can’t play the YouTube (and without access to YouTube, how do you expect to raise a happy child? Eh? Honestly!).
From Mirriam-Webster:
Main Entry: land·slide
Pronunciation: \ˈlan(d)-ˌslīd\
Function: noun
Date: 1838
1: the usually rapid downward movement of a mass of rock, earth, or artificial fill on a slope; also : the mass that moves down
2 a: a great majority of votes for one side b: an overwhelming victory
I’m guessing you already know that I am not referring to definition number 1 when I say that Viggo Mortensen won over Jon Bon Jovi by a landslide. Out of a record 429 votes, Viggo came out on top with ninety-one percent of the vote. That, my friends, is practically an avalanche.
So, who best to challenge the reigning king, with his vast legions of loyal fans?
Why not the king of the waves?
vs. 
Or this suit, either.
Even though Sir Bob Geldof is you know, a knight, a champion of African relief, a talented musician, and adopted Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily when her parents Michael Hutchence and Paula Yates passed away, he looks like a cross between a pimp and the Johhny Depp version of Willy Wonka.
Bob, we love you, but I’m not sure we’ll be seeing you in the Celebrity Dad Faceoff anytime soon.
And does not Heavenly look so very much like her late father?
We have, not infrequently, been known to remark how close our Friday Caption Contest is: like a triple dead heat at Belmont, the excitement of a highly-competitive caption contest gets the blood stirring and the bets flying (okay, not).
This week was different.
No, this week there was essentially no contest whatsoever. Check out the following and judge for yourself:
Jennie Says:
June 6th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
Well you can tell by the way I squeak and squawk
I’m a mommy’s boy and still can’t walk
I scream real loud if the milk ain’t warm
I’ve been kicking & crying since I was born.
And now it’s all right, It’s OK
My diaper’s dry right now I say.
You should try to understand
The way new Huggies fits my can.
Whether you’re a brother
Or whether your my mother
I’m stayin’ dry
Stayin’ dry
Hear my cry awaken
Everyone starts quakin’
Cause I’m not real dry
Not real dry
Ah ah ah ah
Get me dry
Get me dry
Ah ah ah ah
Now I’m dry…
Yep, and even at the hoary age of 54, John “Not a Ghey” Travolta persists in staying alive, his fondness for private planes notwithstanding.
So, what do we have as our hypothetical trophy for the winner of our virtual championship? We’ve delved deep into the Designersphere, and as we are still on a bit of an YSL kick, we have chosen the following gorgeous leather jacket. Who could forget the immortal leather daddy Vinnie Barbarino, perhaps Travolta’s greatest dramatic role?
Caption the following adorable, not-at-all-foreshadowing baby celebrity photo. Click through the jump or click on the picture to see who it really is (include in-jokes in the captions if you wish).
Viggo Mortensen managed to eke out a victory over Clive Owen by a mere three percent of the popular vote. Clive almost managed to win, despite scandalous accusations that I was trying to fix the competition. Ah Clive, I shall miss those lovely green eyes of yours…
This week we tread a path not yet chosen here on Celebrity Dad Faceoff, although you had to know it was coming. Yes, that’s right, we’ve got a non-actor this week. Well, actually, I think this rocker has made a few cameos here and there in movies and whatnot, but his main calling is music. I have never really thought this week’s challenger was all that hot, but I know that there are many, many who will disagree with me. It must be a Jersey boy thing.
So, on with the show…
vs. 
Such dedication! Such self-sacrifice! From the first moment the world first noticed this dapper gent, desperately clinging to a palm tree as Nature herself tried to wipe him off the face of the planet, the world has been in love with Anderson Cooper’s quiet charm and understated courage.
But now, he faces the most frightening fate yet, right there in the Friday Caption Contest. And it’s time to announce who nailed it (I hope they nailed it down well; jealous meteorological forces are massing!).
Jennie Says:
May 30th, 2008 at 10:37 pm
We agreed that since California had finally legalized same sex unions, that we would come out and defend our right to muppet marriges. I love him so….
Shocking, yet true. At least his mother is not alive to witness him marrying so far below his station; Elmo’s reputation rivals that of Britney Spears at this point, and we can only hope that since Coop has made an honest muppet of him that his personal life will turn a corner.
But we have not much hope, it must be admitted. KFed on line one…
Enough! It is time to award the coveted hypothetical trophy of the virtual riches to the honorary winner, and here it is, something superfantasatic and sexy enough to keep the spirit of YSL alive and gladden the hearts of all in these dark days…
I always thought he’d save himself for me, you know. But enough of that…to the prize (and then to the merlot)!
You know what to do, so do it in the comments.
Nobody, it seems, wanted to bend it like Beckham. Or bend it with him, or at him, or any other type of bending.
Viggo is still the reigning king!
But, this week’s challenger is also he of the chiseled cheekbones and gravitas. Oh, and those gorgeous hazel eyes don’t hurt either.
vs. 
