Teeny Manolo

Like I said, you KNOW how we feel about Elmo.

Apparently, so do the rest of you, for most of you were too intimidated to attempt to caption him, lest he wreak havoc in your life as he is about to in Liv Tyler’s. Who could blame you? The creature crawled from the pit and tickled his way to the top of the heap in Hollywood, leaving a trail of drained, lifeless bodies in his wake.

Nonetheless, four brave and talented commenters have risked it all for eternal glory and imaginary swag, and from them we have chosen a winner:

Bellamama Says:
June 30th, 2008 at 12:01 am

“The Neighbors” - A Nightmare on Sesame Street!

The writing was childish and the costumes were like something out of a Saturday morning kids show! A dark comedy with too many characters, no plot, and WAY too much giggling! The only Oscar this movie will see is the Grouch!

D-

Kudos, Kevlar, and a big thumb’s-up to Bellamama for the winning caption. And what of the imaginary swag? We’ve chosen this, the Links of London Martini charm (although with a cherry I think it’s a Manhattan charm instead, but, like, whatever). I thought about choosing the cellphone charm, so you could call for help and then thought what would I do in a situation like that, and the answer was obvious: mix a very grown-up DRINK!

Click HERE to enter our stylin’ Stila giveaway!

You KNOW how we feel about Elmo. Stolen from Worth1000 via AgentBedhead, this is the one-sheet for this summer’s top horror thriller:

It’s that special time of the week, the time that you’ve all been waiting for: time to announce the winner of the Friday Caption Contest.

Last Friday we presented for your commentation Jada Pinkett-Smith and her children Willow and Jaden:

gemdiva Says:
June 22nd, 2008 at 3:05 pm

OK, OK, you got your pictures. Now let’s get one thing very clear…………. one nasty, snarky word about my kids in print and you’ll wish your Mamas & Daddys had never met.

Yes, gemdiva takes it again in a close call. Let’s see, what have we got for her virtual prize in this week’s imaginary presentation ceremony…a collection of Dad’s last few movies wouldn’t be much of a prize at all, so let’s see if we can’t find her something slightly more fabulous. You know, I was looking for something in black and white pearl, but fuggedabouddid, when my eyes lit on this I knew that one of us had to have it, if only virtually. The Russell Trusso pearl multiflower necklace:

You know what to do, so do it to Jada Pinkett-Smith and her kids Willow and Jaden.

It’s time to announce the winner of our Friday Caption Contest for last week. It was a small, tight field, but we’ve made the hard choice and picked a winner:

Jennie Says:
June 14th, 2008 at 8:37 pm

Barney won’t bother US anymore!!! Ahhhahahahahaaaaa!

Congratulations and imaginary swag to Jennie for another win! We’ve picked out the pretty in patent Bally Blueberry for her hypothetical trophy.

This debonair young man belongs to the blog PrettyFlyForABabyGuy, where he shows off several of his finest food-based looks. Is that Blueberry Steel?

We have, not infrequently, been known to remark how close our Friday Caption Contest is: like a triple dead heat at Belmont, the excitement of a highly-competitive caption contest gets the blood stirring and the bets flying (okay, not).

This week was different.

No, this week there was essentially no contest whatsoever. Check out the following and judge for yourself:

Jennie Says:
June 6th, 2008 at 10:49 pm

Well you can tell by the way I squeak and squawk
I’m a mommy’s boy and still can’t walk
I scream real loud if the milk ain’t warm
I’ve been kicking & crying since I was born.

And now it’s all right, It’s OK
My diaper’s dry right now I say.
You should try to understand
The way new Huggies fits my can.

Whether you’re a brother
Or whether your my mother
I’m stayin’ dry
Stayin’ dry
Hear my cry awaken
Everyone starts quakin’
Cause I’m not real dry
Not real dry
Ah ah ah ah
Get me dry
Get me dry
Ah ah ah ah
Now I’m dry…

Yep, and even at the hoary age of 54, John “Not a Ghey” Travolta persists in staying alive, his fondness for private planes notwithstanding.

So, what do we have as our hypothetical trophy for the winner of our virtual championship? We’ve delved deep into the Designersphere, and as we are still on a bit of an YSL kick, we have chosen the following gorgeous leather jacket. Who could forget the immortal leather daddy Vinnie Barbarino, perhaps Travolta’s greatest dramatic role?

Caption the following adorable, not-at-all-foreshadowing baby celebrity photo. Click through the jump or click on the picture to see who it really is (include in-jokes in the captions if you wish).

(more…)

Such dedication! Such self-sacrifice! From the first moment the world first noticed this dapper gent, desperately clinging to a palm tree as Nature herself tried to wipe him off the face of the planet, the world has been in love with Anderson Cooper’s quiet charm and understated courage.

But now, he faces the most frightening fate yet, right there in the Friday Caption Contest. And it’s time to announce who nailed it (I hope they nailed it down well; jealous meteorological forces are massing!).

Jennie Says:
May 30th, 2008 at 10:37 pm

We agreed that since California had finally legalized same sex unions, that we would come out and defend our right to muppet marriges. I love him so….

Shocking, yet true. At least his mother is not alive to witness him marrying so far below his station; Elmo’s reputation rivals that of Britney Spears at this point, and we can only hope that since Coop has made an honest muppet of him that his personal life will turn a corner.

But we have not much hope, it must be admitted. KFed on line one…

Enough! It is time to award the coveted hypothetical trophy of the virtual riches to the honorary winner, and here it is, something superfantasatic and sexy enough to keep the spirit of YSL alive and gladden the hearts of all in these dark days…

I always thought he’d save himself for me, you know. But enough of that…to the prize (and then to the merlot)!

This was, as predicted, a close one and one of our funnier comment threads. I nearly gave it to Bellamama, just for vague patriotism reasons, but in the end I had to bow the the perfection of the following:

gemdiva Says:
May 24th, 2008 at 7:37 pm

And now, we take you to downtown Honolulu where the annual
Don Ho birthday celebration is in full swing.

Yes, gemdiva reclaims her crown. Now, what shall we award her for her fabulous hypothetical prize? These playful, yet protective, Guiseppe Zanotti sandals in multicoloured metal mesh. You have to dress appropriately to make the most of a bubble fight!