Teeny Manolo

I can see that you are all thinking, Glinda, you are teh crazy.  Why are you taking me back to the 1920’s, rating men I may or may not have heard of before in my life?

Trust me, my friends.  There is a method to my madness.

Now, last week we voted on some silent fim stars, and poor John Gilbert got the boot from Ronald Colman.  I feel badly for Mr. Gilbert, as he was never able to transform his success in silent film to “talkies.”  And he could not beat Mr. Coleman, which is almost as it happened in real life.  I shed a tiny tear for him.  Sniff.  Was it the fact that they looked practically like twins?  We’ll never really know…

So as is our tradition, the dark-haired Ronald moves up to the next round to face the next opponent, who happens to be a hot blonde.  And that opponent would be one of the most famous actors of his generation, and whose house was almost as famous as he was.  Look, it even has its own Wikipedia entry! And bonus, it’s for sale!

Ahem, moving on…

vs

You know what to do, so do it in the comments!

Passed along by a proud parent (Thanks!)

This thing couldn’t be more fabulous if it came in leopard-spotted patent leather: a blender which is operated by voice! Had a bad day? Scream at your blender and watch it whip you up some therapeutic Margaritas. Had a good day, put the kids to bed, and want to get cosy with The Husband? Purr softly as it gently melds the magical ingredients for a couple of Pink Lady cocktails.

Or, if you prefer an ascetic life of suffering, recite Rage Against the Machine lyrics as it prepares your wheatgrass smoothie.

Via Kris Krug

“The machine allows the user to access sensorial modalities otherwise dormant.”

Huh, I had a boyfriend who did that. Why did I drop him again?

Blendie not only follows verbal commands, it thinks for itself, so presumably once you’ve trained it, every Friday at five it could just trot over to the cabinet and start mixing up a batch of Weekend Wonders. Where do you get one of these genius contraptions? Alas, it’s unique, but you can start with one of these:

Inner dialogue of bodyguard:

Do you know the kind of training I’ve had?

Do you?

I’m an expert marksman, a third-degree black belt in karate, and a former Olympic wrestler.

I can kill a man with my bare hands.

At bodyguard school, they said I was the best there ever was.

And here I am. Carrying a bald baby doll and a stuffed giraffe.

I hate my life.

Yes, it’s only October.

But everyone knows that the tradition of getting the Christmas toys early, hiding them, and having the kids secretly attempting to find them is a classic. And, it can’t be done unless you are out there early! The other upside to getting all that shopping done is more time to get into the Christmas spirit, rather than running around the stores like a headless chicken!

This week I’m featuring toys that are for both boys and girl, and are hot, hot, hot in 2008. In the coming weeks, I’ll also provide special editions for “boy” and “girl” toys.

Looking for the hottest “girl” toys? Go here!
Looking for the hottest “boy” toys? Go here!
Looking for some great video games? Go here!

Elmo Live The most lifelike Elmo ever made! His mouth opens and closes while he is talking. He sits, dances, and waves his arms as he sings and tells jokes. Toddlers everywhere will love this newest Elmo.

Nintendo DS Lite This is one of the holiday’s most wanted toys! Smaller and lighter than the original DS, this revolutionizes game play with with ultra-bright dual screens, adjustable backlighting, stereo sound, and touch-screen technology. Connect wirelessly to Nintendo’s WiFi Connection and play against someone on the other side of the room or the other side of the world! Available in many different colors.

KidiArt Studio on sale! Hook this up to the television or the computer to enhance the experience of this digital camera. Kids can do basic art lessons, add and edit photos, and even create stop-motion animation!

U-Dance No mat necessary! Instead, you hook an innovative, customizable band around your shoes and get ready to execute almost any dance move you can think of!

Rock Band for Xbox 360 and Rock Band for Playstation 2 and Playstation 3 These special editions are fun for the entire family. Expensive? Yes. Entertaining? Absolutely! With a playlist ranging from Smashing Pumpkins to the Beastie Boys, everyone will indeed be rocking out.

Monopoly Here and Now World on sale! A world wide vote determined what cities would be included on this game board. There’s no telling which exciting, exotic locations you will own! Also comes with Monopoly “credit cards” and digital banking device that keeps track of your balance.

EyeClops Bionic Eye on sale! Forget stationary microscopes, kids can use this portable one to examine anything and everything up to 200X magnification! You can also plug it into the television to see it on the big screen!

LeapFrog Didj Custom Learning Gaming System Taking the popular portable Leapster to the next level. It offers a computer interface to continue the learning online. Also has customizable characters, backgrounds, animation, music, and more!

Fun-2-Learn Computer Cool School Preschoolers will love this keyboard built just for them! Includes a stylus, writing tablet and software. Leo the Lion takes them on fun adventures in reading, writing, math, art, music, and science.

Webkinz Ganz Large Fantail Goldfish Your young one may already have one of these, but do they have this new release? Instead of just a regular old room, the Goldfish will get you an underwater one! If you approve of safe online game play, the Webkinz are some of the best bargains around!

ME2 It works like a pedometer, but awards points for physical activity that can be redeemed for virtual goodies. Kids can also compete against other kids and enjoy an ME2 online universe.

Fur Real Friends Biscuit With lifelike sounds and movements, you will almost be convinced that you’ve got the real thing! Except, no vet bills, animal dander, or cleaning up after. I’m sold!

LeapFrog Tag Reading System Watch as books come to life! Using the Tag Reader, cool sounds, character voices, and music are added to literary favorites such as The Little Engine That Could.

I thought I’d throw you a curveball this week, with something NOT obviously holiday-themed. The winner of this and our (what was it, Monday? Tuesday?) caption contest will be announced together on Monday and yes, you can win both if you’re good enough, so get those competitive juices flowing. Our imaginary prizes are among the most coveted in the cyberverse!

Completely awesome, but kids, don’t try this at home. Because it’ll give your parents a frickin’ heart attack!

via 69105

Mind you, on something like this Sandy Summit wooden playset it’s not such a big risk.

Alas, poor raincoaster; you knew her well. But the fact is, she’s not the same this week. It’s true. I’ve crossed the line. I’ve become one of The Others. You know, THOSE PEOPLE.

The employed.

I have, in fact, become employed by two different companies this week, which wouldn’t normally be such a killer except I’m so, so very used to nothing more than sitting in my pj’s in one chair all day, moving only periodically to let the pizza boy in so I don’t starve.

If you order twelve you get two free and then you’re set for another 14 days!

Anywhateverkins, one of these jobs involves raincoaster being A) presentable in the morning B) awake in the morning and C) on her feet from the morning all the way to early evening.

And this does not take me to my happy place.

Mind you, there are good things to be said about the job: it’s a marvelous opportunity to look at what other people are wearing and make up snarky captions in one’s head all day; it’s a good opportunity to meet lots of men, as the pizza boy just does NOT seem to be responding; and it’s great to see that, indeed, the world is NOT ready for the return of stirrup pants.

But, truth be told I am absolutely wrung out, and it’s only my second day. I have a few choice words for the person who invented this “working for a living” thing. Fortunately, I work right outside a spa and the first thing I did was enquire about some hawt pedicure and massage action; I’m gonna need it.

Tomorrow I buy a new pair of flats (yay, flats are not only in, but on sale!) and those spongy insoles that say nobody is going to be drinking champagne out of my MaryJanes anydamnways, so what the hell. At least I’ll be comfortable. So my posts are going to be going up at wonky times for the next week until I get used to this, and they may be even more demented than usual! You’ve been warned!

Fortunately, while I’m occupied in productive sessions with either salaried labour or the epsom salt footbaths, the Internets have provided for your amusement the following roundup of the bizarre and parental, so click onward and enjoy!

The Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator (PolitTskTskTsk)

Kate Moss’ daughter is a rock off the old block. CHIP! I meant chip! (DListed)

Trump’s tips for raising tip top tots and kickass kids! (CeleBitchy)

Housework blogger wanted (5MinutesForMom)

Cute OVERLOAAAAAD!!!!! (CelebrityBabySmack)

There’s a dirty pun to be made here, but I’m not the one to do it (GoGetYourJacket)

Dance Party Workout (ParentHacks)

Talk Like a Pirate Day is Saturday! (Limeshot)

Family.com, a Disney site, is sponsoring a contest in which you can actually win a prize for being badly dressed!  Well, when you were a kid, anyway.  Or maybe you can cash in on badly dressing your own child.

I’m thinking back to my own childhood, and for a while, my mother was dressing my sister and me like twins. Uh, except we were almost six years apart. I remember one year we were particularly resplendent in matching red Christmas outfits of scratchy polyester with peter pan collars and white rickrack trim. Good times, good times…

Photos Courtesy of Family.com

from TheSun