Teeny Manolo

From Mirriam-Webster:

Main Entry: land·slide
Pronunciation: \ˈlan(d)-ˌslīd\
Function: noun
Date: 1838
1: the usually rapid downward movement of a mass of rock, earth, or artificial fill on a slope; also : the mass that moves down
2 a: a great majority of votes for one side b: an overwhelming victory

I’m guessing you already know that I am not referring to definition number 1 when I say that Viggo Mortensen won over Jon Bon Jovi by a landslide. Out of a record 429 votes, Viggo came out on top with ninety-one percent of the vote. That, my friends, is practically an avalanche.

So, who best to challenge the reigning king, with his vast legions of loyal fans?

Why not the king of the waves?

vs.

Betcha didn’t know the words for “Stage Mother” are the same in Japanese.

Ah, remember the Fifties? When everything was Mom’s fault? And the Sixties, and the Seventies, and the … you get the picture. At some point, however, don’t you have to say, “No, maybe Mom is not exactly June Cleaver, nor Wonder Woman, but might it not be possible that Junior here is just a complete twerp on his own merits?”

Because, you know, Junior here is just a complete twerp on his own merits.

From the original poster on YouTube:

HOW IT ALL STARTED- Some boy named Noah complains that he was trying to get his mom’s attention by poking her arm. His mom gets angry and jabs him back very slightly to tell him to wait… He gets pissed and gets a boo- boo for like 20 minutes… Then they argue on national television for nothing. After intense violence and warfare, Noah slaps his mother across the face… What do you think of this matter? Please respond. Ironically, I think it’s the mother’s fault and other elements that kids are exposed to daily. (School, Media, TV, ect.) However, this child needs to learn respect using his common sense. He has gotten into lots of trouble too. It is quite obvious he is abused and that his family is distorted. He has a single mom and his sister died of cancer. He complains his mother hits and abuses him and then denies it. He and his mother have been fighting for years. Noah has also claimed that he has called the Child Protection Services because of physical abuse. THIS IS THE MOTHER’S FAULT!

Is it, now? Well, I suppose she DID get pregnant in the first place.

Last week’s poll about educating boys and girls separately got a fairly mixed response. Thirty six percent thought it was a great idea, while only one percent more felt it wasn’t. Twenty five percent weighed in with it being ok for certain classes only. I happen to think that it is fine, and I had the experience of attending an all-girls high school, which was fabulous. I would do it again in a heartbeat. I’m not sure I agree with the whole “then they will never know how to interact with the opposite sex” rationale. I never seemed to have a problem getting a boyfriend, am now happily married, and I can converse just fine with members of the opposite sex.

Now, onto that subject which, along with politics, is not supposed to be discussed. Well, I’ve never been one for social conventions, so on with the religious talk! Religion is one of those touchy subjects that people usually seem to feel rather heated about, no matter what their religious, if any, persuasion.

Denzel, we loved ye. We are sorry to see you go.

Viggo Mortensen, he of the chiseled cheekbones and blue eyes, hath been crowned this week’s champion.

Who dares to challenge the king?

Why Becks, of course!

vs.

From the looks of it, maybe we should send them to Iraq and Afghanistan. Is clown fear the universal language?

We all know what pregnancy can do to your chestage.   The, uh, girls tend to get a whole lot bigger, especially if the new mother is breast-feeding.  And I am all for breast-feeding and embracing the new curves that a baby can bring to your body.

However, Christina Aguilera needs to get a clue.  It took highly tattooed former wild child, blood-vial wearing Angelina Jolie to show her the fine art of tasteful pregnancy and post-pregnancy cleavage.  

Classy!

Not so much!

Can I just say that I have never seen a more gorgeous pregnant woman than Angelina? Where are the cankles?  The softened jawline?  She’s carrying twins and she looks utterly fantastic.  It really just isn’t fair. 

A picture of someone who DID show up for her shift

I’ve got to call this one for the coach.

Here’s the scoop: Jodie Hooper, mom of a 7-year-old Little Leaguer, promised to work in the concession stand, as all LL parents must do at least once in that league. She bailed, without finding a replacement.

Her son is benched for two games.

“We are not here to have kids sit benches. We want kids to be playing, but we need people to help us out,” Brouillette said.

About 370 kids play at the field. The fields are run almost exclusively by volunteers. Each parent is expected to help out at least one night.

“Is it fair if you know about it in advance and you are told? It’s one of the rules, otherwise we wouldn’t have concession stands,” parent Rebecca Diaz said…

Hooper said that she had things to do at work and that is why she could not work the stand…

“It’s a tough rule to have to enforce, because everybody has things to do,” League President Dave Brouillette said.

Yes, yes we do.

By now you all know what a hardass I am; it’s impossible to bench or otherwise punish a mother, grownups are supposed to be responsible for their commitments, the kid will get over it, he WILL be ashamed of his mother, this is a good thing. If Mommy is so indispensable at work, Mommy can damn well hire a teenager to take her place.

Thoughts?

Loyal TeenyManolites know that we’ve long kept a beady eye on the jaded escapades of debauched homunculus known as Elmo. The back alleys of Hollywood swarm with the tainted, broken bodies of those he has used and tossed aside.

We thought he was the only one. But we were wrong. So very, very wrong.

From McSweeney’s Internet Tendency comes shocking news that everyone’s favorite glutton, Cookie Monster, has come out of the closet about his biscuit abuse problem. It can be only a matter of weeks before he’s in a residential treatment program in Utah, getting busy with Lindsay Lohan behind the sagebrush bushes.

Me thinks me have serious problem. Me thinks me addicted. But since when it acceptable to call addict monster? It affliction. It disease. It burden. But does it make me monster?

Seventeen year old Marche Taylor from Texas found herself handcuffed and led away by police instead of attending her senior prom.

Prom chaperones said her dress violated the dress code, and told her to leave.  She disagreed, apparently an argument ensued, and eventually the police arrived.

The video below is a news clip from a Houston station covering the story.

What say you? Was the dress too much? Should the school have offered her some sort of compromise, which she claims they did not?