Teeny Manolo

It’s easy enough to live it up, given infinite amounts of cash; there are even expensive consultants to ensure you have a good time. As the lovely and perspicacious Glinda noted yesterday, it’s much more challenging to get out and enjoy entertainment, outings, fine foods, vacations, elegant clothing and other indulgences when you’re acutely non-prosperous (”poor”).

If these things are to your taste, you will have to apply your cunning brain and the grease of your very elbow, and you will surprisingly often find that these are enough. The following manifesto perfectly articulates this. It’s been delicately lifted from the book Frugal Indulgents: How to Cultivate Decadence When Your Age and Salary are Under Thirty, by Kera Bolonik and Jennifer Griffin, which we highly recommend to all. Naturally, we here at TeenyManolo are not ageist (and we may even be over thirty!) so we suggest these are applicable for frugals of all ages.

THE FRUGAL INDULGENT MANIFESTO

Frugal Indulgents celebrates liberation from capital:
True bouviessence (glamour at all times for all occasions) is,
believe it or not, independent of money.

There are certain basic principles that apply to every aspect
of life as a Frugal Indulgent.
These concern behaviour and attitude.
Before we begin, we feel it is important that you know where we’re coming from,
so we’ve penned the Frugal Indulgent Manifesto for your reading pleasure.
Follow these rules, and relish your imminently grand lifestyle.

• Never Act Your Age or Your Income. You may be young and poor, but you are also smart and tasteful. Try to let the latter qualities overshadow the former.
• Aim High. If you assume you can’t fly first class on your budget, you never will. Assume that you deserve the best, and try to get it. Sometimes you’ll prevail.
• Exude Confidence. The surer you appear to be about yourself, the surer others will be about you. If you act like you own the place, more often than not you will be treated like the owner.
• Fake it. If you are not confident, you can fake it. You think you aren’t fitting in at an event? Think you’re not qualified for a job? Not worthy of a date with a fabulous person? Shut up about it and pretend that you are. Chances are you are the only one who knows your shortcomings. If you act the part, you may get away with it.
• Never Apologize. The souffle has fallen., You ate the salad with the entree fork. Your sofa has seen better days: So what? Apologies put people on edge. Aplomb in the face of adversity puts people at ease. Friends and strangers will admire you for having the silent courage to showcase your quirks. Smile and keep dancing.
• Be Curious. Read everything. Talk to everyone. Ask questions. The more inquisitive you are, the more information you’ll gather. As the “Schoolhouse Rock” people used to say, knowledge is power.

* This post has been stolen wholesale from one of my other sites, where it lay pining like a neglected Cambodian orphan until being plucked from obscurity and adopted into the dazzlingly glamorous family of the Manolosphere.

Read and learn, people. Read and learn.

In the vast spectrum of parenting books available, a handful stand out as classics.

Safe Baby Handling Tips is one of them.

Seriously, seriously. You do not want to get that wrong!

Includes the wonderful “responsibility spinner,” sure to see a great deal of use at three in the morning. See also: Safe Baby Pregnancy Tips! I can’t wait for the Safe Teenager Handling Tips edition to come out. What would you use to handle a teenager safely? Tongs? Forklift? The Jaws of Life? Pentagram?

We are big on books here at the Glinda household, and we try to read with our son every chance we can get.

About seven months ago, the Munchkin was in an extremely all-encompassing pirate phase.  Everything had to be pirate, from his toys, to his movies, to his clothes. 

In an effort to tie into this, my husband went to the library and got an adapted version of “Treasure Island.” I didn’t know this until I saw him walking towards the Munchkin’s room at bedtime with the book in his hand.

“Don’t you think he’s a little young for that book?” I asked him.

“Aw, no way! It’s a classic! You can never go wrong with a classic!” was the reply.

I tried to dissuade him from starting the book, because even though it’s been a while since I last came into literary contact with the Black Spot, I felt that the overall tone of the book was too mature.  Even an adapted version.  But he insisted, and into the room he went to begin one of the best pirate books ever written, to be sure.

A couple of nights later, my husband and I were talking and he brought up the book.

“You were right” he said.  “I think the book just kind of went over his head a little.”  My husband leaned toward me, “And there was this part where one of the pirates was killed, and I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t want to come right out and say it, it just seemed a little too much for a four year old to handle.”

“So what did you do?” I asked.  “Did you tell him that the pirate went  to sleep for a really long time or something?”

“No.” he responded.  “Worse. I had to make it up on the spot.”

“Well what else could you have said?”

“I told him the pirate ran away and was never seen again.”

Ahhh, don’t they say that parenthood is fraught with many teaching moments?

Well, my husband took his opportunity. He taught the Munchkin that apparently, being a coward is better than being dead.

*10 worthless points for the first person to guess the movie in which this line was uttered.  Er, sung, really.

For some reason, there has been a mini baby boom over the past few years, and no less than five people I know are currently expecting.  That’s a lot of babies, which turns into a lot of baby showers to attend.  And because I love my friends, I will suck it up and grudgingly gladly play umpteen games of “Baby Bingo” and guessing how many diaper pins are in the jar.

Baby registries are highly popular, but sometimes new mothers don’t know what they need.  They think they know what they need, but they really don’t.  How do I know? Because I was one of them. 

So, that is where Glinda steps in to help to find you the best of the best.

Diaper Dekor Plus Diaper Disposal System

If the mom-to-be is using disposable diapers, this is the way to go. A bit more expensive than the Genie, it is a similar but improved version.  As an added bonus, you can operate it with one hand.

Petit Appetit Cookbook: Easy, Organic Recipes to Nurture Your Baby and Toddler

I like this book because it doesn’t stop at recipes for only babies, it continues with meals for toddlers. This greatly increases its versatility, and new moms need all the versatility they can get! 

Built NY Double Thirsty Tote

This neoprene holder allows you to strap on two feeding bottles, sippy cups, cans, or whatever onto pretty much anything, anywhere.  Also comes in black, pink, and blue.

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You just never know when it may come in handy. Like, when King Tut is trying to drive you insane by the pebble torture and force you to dance the Batusi. Don’t you hate when that happens?

Unless, of course, you’ve seen them portrayed by Christopher Walken. Let’s face it: children’s literature is a bloodthirsty gross-out and the nastier it is, the better they like it. This also explains the enduring popularity of Charles Dickens…

And for the old-skool among us, you can do your own Christopher Walken impression reading the most aptly-named fairy tales of all times: the Brothers Grimm.

No, I don’t mean scary. I mean SINISTER! Hearkening back to our Halloween Costumes of the Great Old Ones, this marvelously crafted portrait of Cthulhu, the best piece of eldritch and abhorrent Elder Gods art you’ll see this holiday season, is the work of Amy Rawson of Thirdroar and her boyfriend, which we found via the reliably bizarre Neatorama.

Ye knowest the drille: Captions in the commentes, Elder Signs in the pockettes.

And just for bonus points, here’s a Cthulhu Cthristmas tale
and some Cthulhu Ctharols.

By the way, we will be “keeping the season” with our friends in the early part of next week, so posting may be a bit slower and commenting a bit touchier than normal. It’s the “indigestion,” you know.

Hark to the beautiful, bountiful baritone of Dylan Thomas, y’all, reading his own Christmas classic, A Child’s Christmas in Wales. So, which part is your favorite? I’ve got a weakness for the “junior firemen” and their prompt, enthusiastic action in the face of a rather dramatic turning point in the narrative.

(not exactly Wordless for Wednesday, am I? Oh well, I always was a contrarian!)

Ah, the great traditions of the holiday season. The roasted turkey! The Christmas tree! The dazzling lights! The shopping!

The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre reading A Christmas Carol.

and Part II, which comes with an F-word warning, but is worth watching nonetheless.

Seriously, it’s way better this way. Hard to think of a dull “classic” that couldn’t be improved by being performed crazy karaoke-style by a pair of Hebridean socks (not Argyle, strangely). I can hardly wait till they get started on The Wasteland!

Christmas books aren’t only for Christmas, you know! But, they can help children understand a sometimes overwhelming time of year. And the best books of all teach them that there is more to the Christmas spirit than just presents under the tree.

The Polar Express

The Night Before Christmas

Olive, The Other Reindeer

Santa Calls

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

The Sweet Smell of Christmas (Scented Storybook)

The Legend of the Pointsettia

Mooseltoe

The 12 Days of Christmas (Pop-Up Book)

A Christmas Carol

Dream Snow

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever

Why Christmas Trees Aren’t Perfect 

The Crippled Lamb

Auntie Claus

The Gift of the Magi