Dear Daughter,

I bought you an outfit that I thought would look cute.

It was a three piece Calvin Klein, with jeans, a shirt, and a soft, furry vest.

I squealed upon seeing the furry vest, as it seems I have a weakness for children wearing fuzzy things.  Your grandmother had bought you a different outfit with a similar vest, and people could not get enough of you in it.

So the other night when we went to the baseball game, I thought the weather was perfect for your CK ensemble, as you’d never worn it before.  It was the perfect combination of semi-warm but not too warm, and I lovingly tucked your jeans into your adorable furry little boots that matched your vest perfectly.

I thought nothing of your outfit until I saw you walking with your dad about twenty feet away from me.  That distance gave me an entirely new perspective.

Your jeans had detailing on the back pockets I hadn’t noticed before, which made me uncomfortable. And they definitely qualified as “skinny” jeans. The vest looked chic, but a little too grownup for an 18 month old.  And the worst was your boots, which looked more like Uggs than anything else.  Good lord, they weren’t supposed to look like Uggs! How did I not see the resemblance? 

And Calvin Klein? What the hell was I thinking?  They are the ones who famously stood between a teen Brooke Shields and er, nothing. 

I solemnly promise on my Complete Works of Shakespeare never to dress you like a college sorority girl again.

Until maybe you are one, but that’s at least a good eighteen years away.

Love,

Mom

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

I am usually the first one to defend police, as I’ve got policemen in my immediate family.

Hi-ever.

I’m trying to think why they thought using pepper spray on an 8 year old boy was appropriate.

The only thing I can think of is that they didn’t want to try to physically restrain him due to potential lawsuits, so they went down the dubious pepper spray road.

I’m also wondering if this child has been tested for possible disabilities? Supposedly he is in therapy, so the answer should be yes. Right?

In the video, I first thought that the police spokesperson was the lawyer for the boy’s family, and I thought he was being sarcastic when he mentioned they were “in fear of this 8 year old boy” or whatever similar sentence he said that I’m too lazy to go back and double check.

I’m just feeling like it is alternate universe day, for some reason.

I’m sorry, but Legos should not be used to cover one’s private parts. In front of a bunch of kids, no less.

That is all.

When asked last week about A & F’s push up bikini top for girls, you responded with an overwhelming “WTF!?” Only nine percent of you thought it wasn’t that big of a deal. I beg to differ with that nine percent, though. This type of product is yet another in a long line of products that sexualizes our young girls. I’m not even cool with regular old bikini tops for 8 year olds, much less padded, push up ones.

We’ve discussed this topic a bit before, but Consumerist reports that airline Ryanair advertised their intention to start “child-free” flights starting in October.  Now, this was released on April 1, so let’s take that with a grain of salt.  However, it is an interesting idea, is it not?

Last week I asked what method you used the most in your cell phone communications, and multi-tasking squeaked out a win, with 35% of you saying you both text and talk.  Texting, though, came in right behind at 33%.  19% of you prefer to talk, and 11% of you don’t have a cell phone.  Don’t feel bad, I only left the ranks of the cell phone-less last year.  I definitely prefer to text, if only because it seems so much more convenient for all parties involved.  I constantly text my husband throughout the day, and as he drives around on patrol for ten hours a day, it is much easier for him to answer a text whenever he has the spare time than to try to pick up a call, or even more annoying and time-consuming, call his voicemail.  I can send pictures/videos of the kids and all sorts of fun things.  Texting FTW!

Today I want to talk about the buzz surrounding Abercrombie and Fitch’s latest padded bikini top offering.  I’ve no problem with padded bikini tops, except that these are made for their children’s line, which is marketed to girls as young as eight.   It seems that when they first came out, they were advertised as “push up” tops, but that has since been removed.  So sneaky, A & F!

So, a mother in New York paid a preschool $19,000 to prep her four year old for an Ivy League education.  She then claimed that the preschool did nothing of the sort, and is suing them.

There are just so many things wrong with the sentences above, I don’t even know where to start.

Let me say this, though, that if there was any doubt that there is a huge (and growing!) class divide here in the United States, this is a prime example of it. We’ve got middle class families fighting for their right to collectively bargain for their working conditions, and then we have people paying exorbitant sums of money for a preschool.

But let’s get back to that four year old and her future illustrious educational career.   The woman was upset that her daughter was placed in “a big playroom” instead of being drilled on how to take the ERB.  The ERB is technically an IQ test, and I want to know how a school is going to increase your child’s IQ, especially at such a young age.  Or, are wealthy parents expecting the schools and tutors to show them the actual test questions and coaching them on the answers?  I’m sure I don’t really want to know the answer to that.

Now, I know that parenting is all about pushing your children to succeed, because if you don’t do it, who will? There aren’t too many self-motivated middle schoolers out there.   But there is wanting your children to succeed and then being pathological about it, a la your friend and mine, Tiger Mother. 

Newsflash for all those type A moms, many four year olds, they like to play.  A lot. Much more than studying for a test. Most educational experts agree that at such a young age, children learn just as much by playing , if not more, than they do by sitting at a desk and filling in bubbles.

And tell me, is an Ivy League education all it is cracked up to be any more?

I’ve read quite a few articles claiming that an Ivy League education may not be worth the price any more, especially factoring in paying off student loans.

Yet here we have people shelling out almost twenty thousand dollars for preschool, which I’m sorry, sounds a bit insane.  That’s only about fifteen thousand less than the tuition at one of the vaunted Ivy Leagues, yet all little Lucia will get is a certificate saying that she was proficient in, well, preschool.

As I watch my own very bright son whack the daylights out of his friend with a Nerf sword in the front yard instead of learning French, I wonder which of us moms is making the right decisions.

Only time will tell.

If you haven’t heard already, the internets is abuzz over the photos of Suri Cruise, aged 5, sucking on a pacifier.  Simply Google “Suri Cruise pacifier” and pages and pages of commentary will pop up.

Because it is perfectly fine for the foibles of a five year old, presumably the most fashionable one on the planet, to be subject to the judgement of the world!

Listen, anyone who has had a kid, and I wonder about some of the people doing all of the pearl-clutching and their experience with children, knows that kids have quirks.  Neither of my children had any interest in a pacifier whatsoever, so I’ve never had to wean them off of one.  But all children have their comfort objects, and as long as it isn’t hurting them, I’m not going to say anything about it.

And I sure as hell know that I am beyond glad that there aren’t a million paparazzi chasing after my daughter every second she is out in public.  Because man, I would probably be proclaimed the world’s second-worst mother, right behind this woman.

But who knows what Suri does with her pacifier?  Maybe it was a one-day deal.  Maybe she found it between the cushions of the car seat and decided to haul it out for old time’s sake.  Maybe the photographers constantly following and shouting at her and her mother stress her out and she needs a binky.  This actually distresses me just thinking about it.

Or maybe, just maybe, the all-knowing internet could just lay off a five year old that they don’t even know.

Ya think?

Because goodness knows that if anyone has the money to pay for any dental bills, it is Tom Cruise.

We are recovering here from what I like to call “VomitFest 2011″ wherein my daughter threw up three times in less than two hours just before bedtime. It equaled three outfit changes, three baths, two bedsheet changes, two changes of outfit and showers for mommy, and three floor cleanings.  Fun times, my friends, fun times.  Actually, this is the only time I appreciate the marble floors that make up most of the flooring in the house.  Much easier to clean than a carpet.

Anyhoo, enough about the travails of my poor toddler’s stomach. 

Last week we had what I thought was a very interesting poll, and 60% of you felt that people who refuse to have their children vaccinated should pay higher health insurance premiums.  27% of you said that if we had universal healthcare, we wouldn’t be talking about raising health insurance premiums at all, and only 12% thought that vaccine-refusers should not have to pay higher premiums.  To be honest, I was a little shocked at the final outcome.  Not that I disagree, but I certainly thought more people would be against it.

Today via the Washington Post comes the story of poor Zoe, who was kicked out of a Montessori school at the tender age of 3 because she had too many potty accidents at school.