I’m sorry, but Legos should not be used to cover one’s private parts. In front of a bunch of kids, no less.

That is all.

When asked last week about A & F’s push up bikini top for girls, you responded with an overwhelming “WTF!?” Only nine percent of you thought it wasn’t that big of a deal. I beg to differ with that nine percent, though. This type of product is yet another in a long line of products that sexualizes our young girls. I’m not even cool with regular old bikini tops for 8 year olds, much less padded, push up ones.

We’ve discussed this topic a bit before, but Consumerist reports that airline Ryanair advertised their intention to start “child-free” flights starting in October.  Now, this was released on April 1, so let’s take that with a grain of salt.  However, it is an interesting idea, is it not?

Last week I asked what method you used the most in your cell phone communications, and multi-tasking squeaked out a win, with 35% of you saying you both text and talk.  Texting, though, came in right behind at 33%.  19% of you prefer to talk, and 11% of you don’t have a cell phone.  Don’t feel bad, I only left the ranks of the cell phone-less last year.  I definitely prefer to text, if only because it seems so much more convenient for all parties involved.  I constantly text my husband throughout the day, and as he drives around on patrol for ten hours a day, it is much easier for him to answer a text whenever he has the spare time than to try to pick up a call, or even more annoying and time-consuming, call his voicemail.  I can send pictures/videos of the kids and all sorts of fun things.  Texting FTW!

Today I want to talk about the buzz surrounding Abercrombie and Fitch’s latest padded bikini top offering.  I’ve no problem with padded bikini tops, except that these are made for their children’s line, which is marketed to girls as young as eight.   It seems that when they first came out, they were advertised as “push up” tops, but that has since been removed.  So sneaky, A & F!

So, a mother in New York paid a preschool $19,000 to prep her four year old for an Ivy League education.  She then claimed that the preschool did nothing of the sort, and is suing them.

There are just so many things wrong with the sentences above, I don’t even know where to start.

Let me say this, though, that if there was any doubt that there is a huge (and growing!) class divide here in the United States, this is a prime example of it. We’ve got middle class families fighting for their right to collectively bargain for their working conditions, and then we have people paying exorbitant sums of money for a preschool.

But let’s get back to that four year old and her future illustrious educational career.   The woman was upset that her daughter was placed in “a big playroom” instead of being drilled on how to take the ERB.  The ERB is technically an IQ test, and I want to know how a school is going to increase your child’s IQ, especially at such a young age.  Or, are wealthy parents expecting the schools and tutors to show them the actual test questions and coaching them on the answers?  I’m sure I don’t really want to know the answer to that.

Now, I know that parenting is all about pushing your children to succeed, because if you don’t do it, who will? There aren’t too many self-motivated middle schoolers out there.   But there is wanting your children to succeed and then being pathological about it, a la your friend and mine, Tiger Mother. 

Newsflash for all those type A moms, many four year olds, they like to play.  A lot. Much more than studying for a test. Most educational experts agree that at such a young age, children learn just as much by playing , if not more, than they do by sitting at a desk and filling in bubbles.

And tell me, is an Ivy League education all it is cracked up to be any more?

I’ve read quite a few articles claiming that an Ivy League education may not be worth the price any more, especially factoring in paying off student loans.

Yet here we have people shelling out almost twenty thousand dollars for preschool, which I’m sorry, sounds a bit insane.  That’s only about fifteen thousand less than the tuition at one of the vaunted Ivy Leagues, yet all little Lucia will get is a certificate saying that she was proficient in, well, preschool.

As I watch my own very bright son whack the daylights out of his friend with a Nerf sword in the front yard instead of learning French, I wonder which of us moms is making the right decisions.

Only time will tell.

If you haven’t heard already, the internets is abuzz over the photos of Suri Cruise, aged 5, sucking on a pacifier.  Simply Google “Suri Cruise pacifier” and pages and pages of commentary will pop up.

Because it is perfectly fine for the foibles of a five year old, presumably the most fashionable one on the planet, to be subject to the judgement of the world!

Listen, anyone who has had a kid, and I wonder about some of the people doing all of the pearl-clutching and their experience with children, knows that kids have quirks.  Neither of my children had any interest in a pacifier whatsoever, so I’ve never had to wean them off of one.  But all children have their comfort objects, and as long as it isn’t hurting them, I’m not going to say anything about it.

And I sure as hell know that I am beyond glad that there aren’t a million paparazzi chasing after my daughter every second she is out in public.  Because man, I would probably be proclaimed the world’s second-worst mother, right behind this woman.

But who knows what Suri does with her pacifier?  Maybe it was a one-day deal.  Maybe she found it between the cushions of the car seat and decided to haul it out for old time’s sake.  Maybe the photographers constantly following and shouting at her and her mother stress her out and she needs a binky.  This actually distresses me just thinking about it.

Or maybe, just maybe, the all-knowing internet could just lay off a five year old that they don’t even know.

Ya think?

Because goodness knows that if anyone has the money to pay for any dental bills, it is Tom Cruise.

We are recovering here from what I like to call “VomitFest 2011″ wherein my daughter threw up three times in less than two hours just before bedtime. It equaled three outfit changes, three baths, two bedsheet changes, two changes of outfit and showers for mommy, and three floor cleanings.  Fun times, my friends, fun times.  Actually, this is the only time I appreciate the marble floors that make up most of the flooring in the house.  Much easier to clean than a carpet.

Anyhoo, enough about the travails of my poor toddler’s stomach. 

Last week we had what I thought was a very interesting poll, and 60% of you felt that people who refuse to have their children vaccinated should pay higher health insurance premiums.  27% of you said that if we had universal healthcare, we wouldn’t be talking about raising health insurance premiums at all, and only 12% thought that vaccine-refusers should not have to pay higher premiums.  To be honest, I was a little shocked at the final outcome.  Not that I disagree, but I certainly thought more people would be against it.

Today via the Washington Post comes the story of poor Zoe, who was kicked out of a Montessori school at the tender age of 3 because she had too many potty accidents at school.

Last week I asked if a 17 year old was too young to be Miss America, and 72% of you think just that.  I agree.  The funny thing is, I don’t really have any “facts” to back that up with, it’s just my gut feeling.  I will be honest, I was fairly selfish and self-centered at 17, and I can’t imagine having to do all of the things a Miss America is supposed to do at that age.  However, maybe I was just an immature brat.  Not completely out of the realm of possibility, I’m afraid.

Today, I wanted to point you to a fascinating discussion going on over at BoingBoing and find out what your views are on the topic, which come from an article written by pediatrician Rahul K. Parikh on CNN.

Much ado is being made about Amy Chua’s recent piece in the Wall Street Journal entitled “Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior.” Tell us how you really feel, Ms. Chua.

I have to say upfront that I truly know nothing about Chinese parenting methods, and the little I do know comes from reading Amy Tan novels.  Which could possibly be the same as nothing.

But what strikes me about the article is the strident nature of Ms. Chua’s superiority.  And in a sense, I suppose she is correct in saying her parenting style has produced results.  Her daughter has apparently played piano at Carnegie Hall, which is a wonderful accomplishment. My son, on the other hand, has played the tambourine (badly) for an audience comprised solely of his baby sister. So I suppose she is at least one up on me there.

She does say that the term “Chinese mother” does not necessarily apply only to people of Chinese ancestry, but is rather describing a certain parenting style.  This is opposed to “Western parenting” which she says can also be anyone of any ancestry.

That being said, I fall firmly in the Western category, and I’m not ashamed of it.

I cannot bring myself to dictate to my son what his interests should or shouldn’t be.  Ms. Chua states that she only allowed her daughters to study piano or violin, no other instruments were considered.  I can’t imagine doing that to my son.  I mean, I might be depriving the world of a world-class tambourine player if I did so.

This part of her story, though, did resonate with me:

First, I’ve noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children’s self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children’s psyches. Chinese parents aren’t. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

I think she might have a little something there.  It is possible that Western parents are too worried about self-esteem.  I mean, hello everybody-gets-a-trophy sports!

The way in which she describes going about motivating her youngest child to master a particularly different piano piece, however, seem a bit over the top to me.   But, a book needs to be sold, does it not?

But that must be the sloth mother in me.

I’m going to overcome my weak Western parenting style, ASAP.

Tambourine practice, seven days a week.  I hope the Munchkin is ready for it.