I can’t even rely on my nine year old to find a pair of socks in his sock drawer, much less keep an eye out to protect my multimillion dollar illegal operation.

A list of the first baby names of 2012 by state recently came out, and there are definitely a few humdingers.

Apparently there was a trend of a lot of names beginning with the letter K and the letter A. Even though I didn’t give birth in 2012, I’m OK with not being on trend.

A few that leapt out at me:

Kentucky: Kay’lyn

I thought that the whole apostrophe within a name thing was so very over.  I was so very wrong.

New Mexico: Daytona Jaymes

There are, to me, two things wrong with this name.

South Dakota: Kalylah

I have no idea where they came up with this one, or how to pronounce it.  Awkwardly, I guess.

Wyoming: Khloe

The Kardashian influence has gone much too far.

Ohio: Anya

A Project Runway fan, it seems.

Arkansas: Wesley Ren

Ditto Princess Bride.

Nevada: Envy Essence-Faye

I could deal with this if it was rearranged.  Maybe.

And you know, I’m good with that. I think that even though the concept of Lego is universal, not every girl wants to build police cars and assault vehicles and whatnot.

But this?

This seems just a bit too genderized for me. I don’t have a problem with having things like the tree house or the pet house, but why oh why does everything have to have pink and purple? Could they have not launched the new sets with regular colors?

This is an old advertisement from the 70′s (I think) in which the girl, admittedly a bit tomboy-ish looking, is holding a creation built out of standard Lego bricks.

What happened between then and now?

I had my own Lego sets in the 70′s, and granted, it was a “house” set with a kitchen and living room, but I loved it. It wasn’t pink or purple or glittery, and yet it was one of my favorite toys.

Imagine that!

Yay or nay on the baby cursing? The internets seem to be divided.  One commenter suggested you would only hear what your filthy mind WANTED to hear.  I assure you what I heard was in no way lurking in my subconscious.

Seriously?

People have asked other people to send them the spit-infested lollipop of a sick child so that their child could contract chicken pox?

Good Lord.

First, it’s a federal offense, second, it won’t even work and third, WHAT THE F@&# IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

I used to give vaccine-deniers some leeway, but after being proven that a certain oft-quoted study was completely discredited, I will allow no quarter.

Vaccinate your damn kids!

That way, your damn kids won’t give a disease that should by all rights be eradicated to an unsuspecting infant or person with a lowered immune system.

Again, WHAT THE F@&# IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?

Yeah, because a sweatshirt with a fake denim jacket screened on the front of it is SO COOL!  Because everyone knows that denim in the front and sweatshirt material on the back is the new mullet!

Listen, they make ACTUAL denim everything for toddlers, so I suggest simply going that route if you are really into that type of thing.

And Jesus Christ on a stick, they want almost thirty bucks for this crap?

Just say no, ladies, just say no to the newest version of the mullet.

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Speaking as someone who has never smoked even a tiny smidgen of a joint, (for serious) if I had seen this candy or even eaten it as a child, I highly doubt it would have led me onto the path of doing drugs.

Doing drugs just isn’t the way I roll, yo.  I don’t really even get drunk.

And yes, I am a fun person to hang out with.

That being said, I really don’t think these cannabis-shaped lollipops are a great idea.  They contain no marijuana so I don’t quite see the point, but maybe normalizing it to a younger generation is what they are trying to do?

Pot is still illegal, no matter how many people wish it wasn’t, so this would be a no for my son’s Halloween bag.

But mmmmmm, sour apple….

Last week I wanted to know if you read tabloid newspapers, and zero of you felt you were addicted.  However, not quite the same when applied to gossip news sites on the internets, where 40% of you often find yourself reading about the newest fight between Blake Lively and Leo DiCaprio.  23% of you only read the newspaper version at the checkout line, and 36% of you swear that you never do, even when the annoying lady in front of you is writing a check.

Today, I want your feedback on a post and picture that originally appeared on Consumerist.  It seems the father of the little boy posing with Chuck E. Cheese up there felt that Chuckie was giving his son the finger. He complained to the restaurant, where they insisted that wasn’t the case.  He then took it to Consumerist to “ …stir up some debate and maybe make some other parents more aware for when it comes time to take their kids’ photos with the big mouse.”

I think it’s a tie between Voldemort and Dobby as to who will be the star of my nightmares tonight.

Herminone Granger

Ron Weasley

Dobby

Harry Potter

Severus Snape

Voldemort

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