Teeny Manolo

For some reason, there has been a mini baby boom over the past few years, and no less than five people I know are currently expecting.  That’s a lot of babies, which turns into a lot of baby showers to attend.  And because I love my friends, I will suck it up and grudgingly gladly play umpteen games of “Baby Bingo” and guessing how many diaper pins are in the jar.

Baby registries are highly popular, but sometimes new mothers don’t know what they need.  They think they know what they need, but they really don’t.  How do I know? Because I was one of them. 

So, that is where Glinda steps in to help to find you the best of the best.

Diaper Dekor Plus Diaper Disposal System

If the mom-to-be is using disposable diapers, this is the way to go. A bit more expensive than the Genie, it is a similar but improved version.  As an added bonus, you can operate it with one hand.

Petit Appetit Cookbook: Easy, Organic Recipes to Nurture Your Baby and Toddler

I like this book because it doesn’t stop at recipes for only babies, it continues with meals for toddlers. This greatly increases its versatility, and new moms need all the versatility they can get! 

Built NY Double Thirsty Tote

This neoprene holder allows you to strap on two feeding bottles, sippy cups, cans, or whatever onto pretty much anything, anywhere.  Also comes in black, pink, and blue.

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The cuteness a-bounds!

Stolen from Seismic Twitch
Maybe Bambi would behave better on this?

(Looking for the TeenyManolo Sweepstakes? Go here)

My friends, this is just wrong on SO MANY LEVELS.

This is an actual product sold at a very popular pet supply source.  Talk about treating your pet like a baby, there is now a “Kitty Bjorn” for you to indulge your delusional self with.

Is having to hold your cat’s ass on the entire walk worth it?  I dunno.

All I can say is that anyone who puts their cat in this thing deserves exactly what they get. 

Which may or may not include scratches to the groin. 

(Looking for the TeenyManolo Sweepstakes? Go here)

Sometimes you run across a kid that’s just too…different…for regular toys. Perhaps little Suzie or Freddy like to picket the letter X in the library. Perhaps they enjoy eating plastic toys before rushing off to middle school. Maybe they refuse to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas because of the unmistakable overtones of communism inherent in the cooperative actions taken by the children. These children are not the world’s easiest to buy for, particularly once you’ve worked your way through the full lineup of Nerf products.

BabyBush is here for you.

Feast your eyes upon a product line that includes the red ball counter, kinda like an abacus, but containing only one ball. For the miniature Republican, we have the Terror Alert Xylophone, sure to be sweet music to his/her shell-like ears.

(belated thanks to CelebratingTheAbsurd for the tipoff! I’m way too lazy to find this stuff myself!)

Another day where others have said it so much better than I…

and because the last time we did this, the sole thank-you we got was from a male of the species, this link roundup goes out to (and comes from) the guys.

Let’s see what the Daddysphere has to say for itself lately:

• This is what dads are faux (Charlie’sHouse)
• Barney’s back, biotches! (Dadsmacker)
• Out of the mouths of smoothly lying babes (LADaddy)
• Extreeeeeeeeeeem parenting (TheBlogfathers)
• Ew. Just ew. (TrueDadConfessions)
• No words (ToddDeutsch)
• Personal Questions (ArchieArchive)
• Where in the world is The Crochet Dude (TheCrochetDude)
• Hot buns from a hot mom (ParentsProgress)
• Does the Internet make me a better parent? (GNMParents)
• Tips for dealing with the guy who’s dating your teenage daughter (DadCanDo)
• Why fathers pray for their daughters (Sigmund, Carl and Alfred)

Well, after turning the interwebs upside down and shaking them like a two-bit, sweatshop-manufactured Etch-a-Sketch ripoff, I think we’ve finally found the target market for the blingorific (and poisonous) pacifier that Glinda featured a couple of weeks ago.

It’s the same crowd who voted the GHB-laden Aquadots (also known as Bindeez) Toy of the Year in Australia.

Australia’s 2007 Toy of the Year, the Hong Kong-manufactured craft toy Bindeez, is being pulled from shelves after it was revealed its “magic beads” contain a chemical that converts into the toxic illegal drug fantasy when ingested.

Two children have been admitted to the Children’s Hospital at Westmead over the past week after swallowing large numbers of the beads, which contain a substance the body metabolises into gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, the main component of liquid ecstasy…

In a statement posted on its website, the company said it had not approved nor was it aware of any chemical substitution by the supplier.

“As a precaution, Moose has voluntarily recalled all of the Bindeez products,” the statement said.

“When reintroduced to the market, Moose as an added precaution will add Bitrex to the approved bead formulation; this is a foul tasting ingredient which will ensure children do not in future eat multiple beads.”

Heather Lehane, the mother of 10-year-old Charlotte, said her daughter had lost consciousness about half an hour after swallowing the beads and had vomited a “thick goo”. [editor's note: what the hell kind of ten year old eats multiple synthetic toy beads? this kid needs one of those jackets with the sleeves that buckle in the back]

Dr Naren Gunja, of Westmead Hospital’s Poisons Information Centre, told the Herald it appeared that pentane diol, a non-toxic substance commonly used on toys for its glue-like properties, had been substituted in the manufacturing process with butane diol.

And suddenly, the toy finds popularity among a whole new demographic.

I’d accuse ravers of rigging the Toy of the Year contest, if I didn’t already know that people on GHB aren’t coherent enough to organize a decent vote-jacking.

Or at least, they won’t remember it the next morning.

Captions in the comments. Keep it clean, play safe, some assembly required.

Unbeatable image heartlessly stolen from Daddy’sDiary

Thank you to the Manolo, raincoaster, and everyone who sent their postive thoughts our way.  It worked!  We are out of danger, and all signs point to it staying that way.  Please keep in mind the hundreds of thousands displaced, and hope that the winds, which are the main reason the fires are out of control, die down very soon.  Let us keep repeating “onshore flow, onshore flow” because that is what is most needed.

Now, what better way to keep my mind off of things than to hunt for an item for the newest edition of One Bid?

My friends, I present to you the most expensive, blingiest potential choking hazard you will ever see.

Because nothing says you love your infant daughter like a Swarovski-encrusted pacifier!  Regular pacifiers are for suckers.  Get it? Suckers?

Hey, cut me some slack, people.

The cabin fever we are experiencing here at Casa Glinda is torture. As soon as Glinda can leave the house without a face mask, the era of tacky jokes will be over, I promise.

But really, infants can be startlingly similar to crows, in that they are fascinated by shiny objects, and I could totally see this working to distract them.  The downside is they would probably try to put the wrong side of it in their mouths.

And it seems that for some people, I must reiterate that you are not allowed to go over the actual retail price.  If I was to ignore this crucial rule, the logic on which the universe is partly based, life as we know it may cease to exist.  Just ask Bob Barker.

Guess away! 

When I was Violet Affleck’s age, I had to play with nickles! Three miles, uphill, in the snow!

The first rule of Friday Caption Contest is: you don’t make cheap Fight Club references on a mommyblog.

You know how it works, people. Work it! Captions in the comments, winner announced on Monday after I recover from the Surrey International Writer’s Conference (ie not early).

This image comes to us from regular reader Susan, who explains that her daughter can make a hat out of virtually anything. Please, someone set this girl up with an apprenticeship with Philip Treacy; there’s money in them thar fripperies! Besides, I need someone to whip up something flattering to tuck the snakes into; the darn things won’t stay in a ponytail!