When I was Violet Affleck‘s age, I had to play with nickles! Three miles, uphill, in the snow!

The first rule of Friday Caption Contest is: you don’t make cheap Fight Club references on a mommyblog.

You know how it works, people. Work it! Captions in the comments, winner announced on Monday after I recover from the Surrey International Writer’s Conference (ie not early).

This image comes to us from regular reader Susan, who explains that her daughter can make a hat out of virtually anything. Please, someone set this girl up with an apprenticeship with Philip Treacy; there’s money in them thar fripperies! Besides, I need someone to whip up something flattering to tuck the snakes into; the darn things won’t stay in a ponytail!

Do NOT tell Mizz Britney! She’ll be ordering the entire range.

Yes, folks, bring the Ragnarok, we can just shutter this world now; it’s over. There is an actual company which retails celebrity-tribute wigs for babies. Maybe they’ll be adding a little Katie-Lee Webster/Elvis Weasley version soon.

Admittedly, at this time of year it’s acceptable as almost practical. I mean, jam the awesomeness which is the Bob Marley on little JoJo’s head and hey, presto, instant Halloween costume.

“No baby, no cry“

For a more feminine, if more felonious look, there’s the Lil Kim.

“For your little miss thang. Sassy pink locks for the diva in diapers”

Then there’s the Donald Trump, although why in the name of all that is holy you’d want your precious treasure to resemble that cotton-candy monstrosity of a comb-over I cannot imagine.

“You’re hired! Meet the new CEO of the playgroup”

But nobody messes with the Samuel L.

“You know what they call a wig for a baby in Paris?
They call it a Le Baby Toupee”

Should you be overcome with the irresistible urge to purchase after seeing these fine designs (lined with soft fleece! For maximum baby sweat!), know that there’s a gallery of happy, apparently well-adjusted babies wearing their wigs proudly. From the evidence, it would seem that The Donald clearly runs the place. Voting enabled, y’all!

No store-bought Spiderman or ghost or jokey celebrity reference or, god forbid, Paris Hilton In Jail costume is good enough for the spawn of a true acolyte of the Great Old Ones. Instead, why not dress up your child as the adorable and tentacular Elder God Cthulhu? Another in the fine tradition of reverence for the great HP Lovecraft’s Cthulhu Mythos stories, from the LiveJournal of Allistairagator the Magnificent.

via BoingBoing

You may recall that last week we had a particularly intense round of captioning on Friday. Well, after much sweat more pressure and some alcohol, I have made my decision, tough though it was.

All the competitors are to be congratulated for their contributions, but as to winners:

There can be only one.

Our pic:

Our winning caption:

gemdiva Says:
October 12th, 2007 at 10:56 pm

Luckily little Johnnie’s fall was broken by a passing Ninja.

Congratulations to the winner for her both creative and bizarre caption (and, really, what goes better with a velcro jacket pic than a creative and bizarre caption?), and we shall be back for another round in four short days!

Cheap and durable, if slightly less mobile than the original.

Gwen Stefani takes Kingston out for a stroll in the Midas 3000 model.

You know how it works. Captions in the comments, plzthx. Do your best for eternal glory and the ability to show off in front of your friends. Coming next week, reader-submitted captionable pix! Email yours to raincoaster at gmail dot com.

Our image for today comes to us from Yanko Design, who saw a niche need for a jacket specifically for lonely people. Lonely people who want to pick up other lonely people. Lonely people who want to pick up other lonely people, yet who need both hands free. This jacket is made entirely from strips of velcro, and as you can see from the image, has practical as well as faintly pathetic applications. This should, if it catches on, put an end to Drop the Baby once and for all!

Takkiainen is a jacket for lonely or bored people. It is designed to help the wearer to get in contact with others. Since we brush against each other every day as we move around in the city, we can use our clothes as a medium for meeting people and communicating with them. The jacket is made out of Velcro strips of different widths that have been sewn together side by side to form alternating hook and pile stripes. When these materials touch each other, they grab onto each other. The lonely user can be happily connected with other loners simply by walking around in the jacket.

Even babies can be attached to their parents.

Designer: Aamu Song & Johan Olin