Teeny Manolo

I have a certain pet peeve when it comes to the monstrosities that people voluntarily place on their baby’s head. Yes, you heard right, I HATE infant hair bows for girls. You know, the kind that is attached to a headband.

I mean, don’t infants already suffer enough indignities already, what with all the drooling and burping and pooping in public? Do we really have to subject them to insecure parents placing huge fake flowers on their heads?

And I say insecure because I don’t understand why it is so important that it be broadcast to everyone that your hairless infant is A GIRL THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CAN’T YOU TELL BY THE OBNOXIOUS BOW I’VE PLACED ON HER HEAD? Would it be that much harder to correct someone if they thought she was a boy? With all the pink clothes, baby carrier, and blankets, I’m thinking it wouldn’t be hard to figure out anyway.

I also wonder exactly how long it takes for said infant to rip said bow off, as they don’t exactly look like the most comfortable things in the world. Heck, headbands tend to bug even me after a while, much less a young child who would probably prefer being totally naked all the time in the first place. And usually, my headbands don’t have embellishments that are bigger than my entire head, which is the case for many of the infant bows.

So I’m going to swear to you all right now, I will never place one of those, those, things on my daughter’s head, no matter how many I may happen to get at my shower.

And now that Lady GaGa has adopted the hair bow look, can we please officially proclaim the trend dead in the water?

Guess who is introducing a luxury line of dresses for toddlers in the middle of a recession?

Oscar de la Renta, of course!

According to the article in W magazine, the dresses are in fabrics such as silk and crepe de chine, exactly the kinds of fabrics I want my three year old to wear!

Not that I think there is anything wrong with little girls having pretty dresses. Of course they should have pretty dresses. Just maybe not dresses that cost from $230 to $330. I know that there will always be a class of people who thinks nothing of buying a three hundred dollar dress for their child, it just seems weird when so many people are out of work to purchase something so expensive that will be worn for all of six months or so.

I also think that if I dressed my daughter in something that cost that much money, I would be following her around and perhaps even feeding her myself just to make sure she didn’t get a stain and ruin the dress.

Granted, the end of the piece states that Oscar will be donating $100 from every sale to the Children’s Defense Fund, which is definitely a worthy cause. But I would sort of rather people just donated on their own, you know?

Or, maybe I’m just jealous.

Oh, you say, yet another pairing of a large retailer with a hot fashion designer?  Famous designers Isaac Mizrahi, Proenza Schouler, Viktor and Rolf, Roberto Cavalli, and Proenza Schouler have all teamed up with various clothing stores to produce specialty clothing lines.

But this time it’s strictly for kids!

Stella McCartney, formerly creative director of Chloe, now has her own collections walking down the runway.  And she’s signed on to produce an exclusive line for GapKids and BabyGap, due in selected stores in November of this year.  She has three kids of her own, so at least we aren’t talking about someone who has no idea how infant clothing works.  Or should work, anyway, as in easy diaper access! I don’t care how cute the thing is, if I can’t quickly get to the diaper, the article simply won’t be worn often.

Stella is also known for being eco-friendly with many of her perfume, beauty, and shoe lines, so we’ll see if she includes any organic cotton in the mix.  I have a feeling she will. And if you’re wondering, that’s a Stella-designed T-shirt that Sir Paul is wearing in the picture above.

Here’s what Paul’s daughter has to say about children’s clothing:

“For years now I’ve wanted to create a collection for kids, it’s something I’ve often been asked about. I believe that this one-off collaboration will be a great way for customers to be able to participate in the Stella McCartney brand. I believe that kids clothing should be more accessibly priced, which is particularly important at the moment given the current climate. It’s really exciting for us to do a boys and girls collection for the first time.”

Amen, sister!  Although Stella McCartney’s and my idea of “accessibly priced” might be a wee bit different seeing as how she grew up with a gazillionaire as a father, I’m still really interested to see what the clothes will look like.

Last week’s poll about judges intervening in medical cases involving minors inspired a bit of civilized kerfluffle in the comments. But, we are all about the diversity and exchange of ideas here, and everyone stated their cases admirably.

In the end, sixty-six percent of you said that as long as it is in the best interest of the child, it was ok for the courts to intervene. Thirty-three percent felt that it was private matter and the courts should stay out.

As for today, my post about girl’s swimsuits got me to thinking about girls nowhere near the stage of puberty wearing bikinis.

There are some very cute and affordable options for girl’s swimsuits out there, and I’ve found some of them for you, with a few more expensive options as well.  Some of them are too adorable to resist.

Baby Girls: Cherry-Print Tankinis for Baby – Pink Print

Baby Girls: Floral Rashguard Swim Sets for Baby – Pink Print

Girls: Girls Printed Ruffle-Trim Swimsuits – Pink Floral

Old Navy Ombré-Print Swimsuit (Girls)

GapKids: Dip-dyed one piece – royal fuchsia

Kate Mack – Frosted Cupcake 2pc Swimsuit (Infant) (Pink) – Apparel

Kate Mack – Cherry Picnic Skirted 1pc Swimsuit (Little Kids) (Red) – Apparel

Deux par Deux – Umbrella One-Piece Swimsuit (Toddler/Little Kids) (Brown/Pink) – Apparel

le top kids – Butterfly Wishes- Tank Swimsuit W/ Hip Ruffle (Infant/Toddler) (Black/White/Pink/Lime/Yellow) – Apparel

Roxy Kids – Surfin’ Safari Candy Apple Tank (Big Kids) (Pretty In Pink) – Apparel

D&G Junior – Vintage Hawaii One-Piece Swimsuit (Toddler/Little Kids/Big Kids) (Pink) – Apparel

Jezebel managed to steal a 1972 Sears catalog from somebody’s basement that featured children’s fashion. And I’ve promptly stolen the pictures from them, because this kind of horror is the kind that has to be shared so that other people can suffer along with you. And just think, I wore crap like this! And thought I was cool!

These chicks look like they could use an attitude adjustment. Because nobody should look that smug with strawberries on their pockets.

It seems that fruit was an overarching theme for 1972.

These pants leave me completely speechless. Uh, at least they were good at hiding stains? And who else remembers those horrible jumpers that took you forever to get out of when you had to go to the bathroom?

And don’t think that the boys managed to get away unscathed. I want to know who thought wide-striped dress pants were a good idea.

Oh Winnie-the-Pooh, Christopher Robin would never have worn something so utterly dorky. The laces on those shirts practically scream out for a bully to grab them.

Finally, we see that no mercy was available even for babies. The little boy looks like he is beseeching his mom, “Why, Mom? Why would you put me in miles of scratchy polyester?”

I’ve found some bargains for kid’s clothing out there on the great wide internet and will now pass them on to you. You’re welcome. Keep in mind, though, that these are for the upcoming spring/summer season and aren’t as cheap as the deals you can now get on winter clothes.

Girls Plaid Tie-Belt Sundress $24.00

Ruffle-Trim Henley Tanks for Baby $5.00

Boys Graffiti-Floral Board Shorts $12.00

<Dinosaur Graphic Tees for Baby $6.00

Toile Dress$19.90

Pumpkin Patch Embroidered Dress Toddler $26.90

Dresden Plaid Shorts
Big Boys $12.00

Polka dot dress Infant/Toddler $14.62

Authentic Carpenter Jeans Boys $9.99

Spring Eyelet Dress Infant/Toddler $22.12

Plaid shorts Boys $12.37

Sweater Vest Infant/Toddler $10.87

Not having a daughter of my own, forays into the world of girls’ dresses is a nice distraction. Except perhaps for the overwhelming amount of pink. I’ve chosen some great dresses in all price ranges for your little fashionista and her spring/summer wardrobe!

I could go on and on about how cute the dresses are, but I think I’ll let the dresses do the talking.

Baby Lulu Kids – Utopia Serena Dress (Toddler) (Blue) – Apparel

Baby Nay Kids – Summer Breeze Garden Dress (Infant/Toddler/Little Kids)

Baby Nay Kids – Toile Bouquet Puffy Dress (Infant/Toddler/Little Kids)

Biscotti – Setting Sail Puff Sleeve Baby Dress (Toddler)

Cabana Life Kids – Gingham Dress (Infant/Toddler/Little Kids)

Flap Happy Kids – Tee Dress (Infant/Toddler/Little Kids)

Halabaloo – Crochet Dress (Infant/Toddler)

Hurley Kids – Woven Plaid Dress (Toddler)

Baby Lulu Kids – Round Flower Lola Dress (Little Kids)

Oilily Kids – Soetje Dress (Infant/Toddler)

Roxy Kids – Ol Salt (Big Kids)

Sister Sam Kids – Dame Lorraine Dress (Big Kids)

Baby Lulu Kids – Isabella Organic Talia Dress (Infant/Toddler)

Baby Biscotti – Light Hearted Knit Dress (Toddler)

It’s a tough quandary: what to give to celebrate the birth of a newly-hatched nerd or nerdlette? Nothing old-fashioned like a ball or a stuffed animal that actually looks like, you know, an animal, obviously. Their parents wouldn’t know how to use it. Nothing cutting-edge either, because you mere civilian could never be expected to know about the pure unadulterated and Wil Wheaton-endorsed awesomesauce that is whatever is the latest thing on Gizmodo.

So you try to play it safe. You split the difference. You go down the middle of the road, where you find nothing but yellow lines and roadkill. But it doesn’t have to be this way. You can gift with dignity. You can gift with style. You can, in fact, even gift with 100% nerd-approved awesomesauce (on the side, please, it’s very fattening).

But there is only one way to produce a nerdgift that does all of these things at once.

That’s right: knitting.

kniitting pattern here

Combining the edgy “ballhands” look of the nerdbiquitous Wii with woolly winter warmth, these adorable little knobs are the perfect ending to any tiny arm. I mean, come on, we all know nerds don’t hold hands.

Now, I’m all for being healthy. I’m all for exercising (as long as it’s not raining, or too cold, or the weekend, or I have anything better to do). I’m all for eating right. But today I saw something.

And that? That thing that I saw? That just ain’t right.

I shook my head. I had another cup of coffee. I watched old Lily Tomlin specials.

I trawled the internet, looking for parallels, and I found them, of varying degrees of utility and authority: The Olive Oil Diet. The Coconut Oil Diet. The Linseed Oil Diet. The Palm Oil Diet.

But…the Baby Fat Diet?

I don’t care what they say: that shit’s just not right!