Teeny Manolo

Sigh. I didn’t really want to go here. I really didn’t. But…

Who exactly are we trying to kid?

All these people who are screeching in outrage at the photo above of a “naked” Miley Cyrus need to step back for a second and take a deep Zen breath. And unfortunately, it seems I must disagree with my esteemed colleague on this issue.

I happen to live in an area that is not only hot, but not too far away from the beach.

Compared to half the girls parading around the area, Miley is looking pretty freaking demure.

A year or two ago it was de rigeur  for teen girls to wear tight crop tees with micro minis, which as a combo happen to show quite a bit of flesh. I mean, go take a look at one of the dresses from Juicy Couture’s current line. Go ahead, I’ll wait for you. Now ask yourself, what is the huge difference? And then tell me, because I’d really like to know.

Is it the sheet? Is it the tousled hair? Is there an uncomfortable whiff of something post-coital about the picture?

Because I don’t remember quite this type of outcry when young Jamie Lynn Spears announced her pregnancy, and she obviously didn’t just hint around at the whole sex thing.

Why are we so surprised that young people are embracing the provocative and sexual?

I mean, we are the country of Brazilians for young girls, of plastic surgery for teens, of flaunting everything we’ve got.  The media role models of these girls are the likes of Paris “Skank” Hilton and Lindsay “Drunk” Lohan.  They see Britney flashing her hoo-ha practically every month, naked photos of Vanessa Hudgens,  and I don’t think they give it much thought.

I’m not saying that it’s a good thing, but there it is.

Frankly, I’m shocked that anyone else is shocked.

And if you truly think this picture is trash-tastic, then I advise you to never go onto MySpace.

*Hat tip to superfantastic reader Seana for alerting me to the SFGate article!

Here’s a little something to sustain the grownup in you through the umpteenth viewing of The Little Mermaid, Pocahontas, or Insert-Kid-Fave-Disney-Flick.

Remember that tip to help nervous people relax and enjoy public speaking? The one where you’re supposed to imagine the audience in their underwear? Well, it works pretty well for Disney films, too, as you will see if you click onward. (more…)

You know how it works, so work it in the comments. And yes, technically this deserves the tag “Baby Clothes.”

That was then:

This is now:

from eBay via HawtyMcBloggy
Comes with free matching assault rifle!

Stolen from AccordionGuy

Carrying on from Glinda’s Teeny Poll: What causes art? In this case, it’s simple: a child’s desire for mutilation.

Do 13-year-olds really need to be saving their babysitting and paper route money for breast implants? Cheryl-Ann Webster wondered that herself, when her daughter told her that a friend was already socking away money for the boobflation job she felt would be an absolute necessity, sooner rather than later.

So Cheryl-Ann made a few synthetic boobs herself; she made The Beautiful Women Project.

To demonstrate that beautiful bodies come in all shapes and sizes, she wanted to surround young girls with sculptures of real women’s bodies…

The Beautiful Women Project is a touring art exhibition of life-sized torsos of real women aged 19-91.

Aims:

* To challenge socially-constructed images of beauty
* To raise awareness and open a dialogue about the link between self-worth and physical appearance
* To be a teaching and healing tool

In the artist’s words: “Our bodies tell our life story. They are portraits of our journeys and experiences. Knowing that our body is beautiful just as it exists, is a message more people need to see and hear.”

The truly great stories have always inspired creative reinterpretation and re-telling in a variety of media; the Easter story is no exception.

From paintings by Caravaggio and Bacon to the literal re-enactments that take over the Philippines every year, to the singin’, dancin’ disciples in Godspell, to the current Gitmo-referencing Manchester production, the story of the death of Jesus has been interpreted in virtually every art form known to humanity. Even Blogging!

And now, Lego.

At a reported cost of over ten thousand dollars, this American (well, what else could he be?) minister has recreated not only the life of Jesus, but much of the Bible in Lego.

For Easter we have the Last Supper, the Arrest of Jesus, the Trial, the Crucifixion (what an odd word to know how to spell. I mean, how often do you use it, eh? And yet I bet you know how to spell it?), the Empty Tomb, and the Final Appearance. These are only details, you’ve gotta go to the source for the real deal. Simon Peter has that hot Miami Vice stubble thing going on, as well as some major Austin Powers chest hair. Hawt.

As anyone who’s ever compared different biblical translations can attest (or is that “witness“?) the picture you get from the whole is substantially different from the picture you get from the snippets.

God is indeed in the details, but he’s also the original Big Picture Guy!

The Last Supper

The Arrest of Jesus

The Trial of Jesus

The Crucifixion

The Empty Tomb, OMG OMG OMG!

The Final Appearance

The Easter Bunny doesn’t hate you!  The Easter Bunny loves you and brings you cool eggs like these ones from Down Under:

Stolen shamelessly from the fantastic Magneto Bold Too!

Did you know that the icanhascheezburger dude sold out? Tis true! Enjoy your unadulterated icanhas originality at ihasahotdog.com instead.

Ahhh, who doesn’t love art?

Certainly not this museum-loving gal, who has been known to just sit and stare at paintings and sculptures in complete awe.

As any mother of a preschool-aged child can tell you, your exposure to art increases tenfold once the kid learns how to hold any type of writing/coloring instrument. It starts first with adorable little squiggles, which you praise highly in order to reinforce the idea that creating art is a good thing.  And also to encourage the perfection of that grip upon the writing instrument.

So then your child gets the idea that everything they do is this fantabulous piece de resistance that needs to be displayed on the wall or the refrigerator.  Well, at least mine did.

Therein lies the quandry. Whither all that art?

I know some moms who have kept practically everything their child has created, whether it took 30 seconds or 20 minutes.

And those moms have also seriously thought about renting extra storage space to hold it all.

Would it be so bad to tell the child that the hastily scribbled “rainbow” does not even compare with the very detailed treasure map and that they are indeed not equal in execution or result?

After some heavy pondering and surreptitious dumping of artwork while the Munchkin was asleep, I decided to involve him in the process. This was for two reasons, the first being that I felt horribly guilty putting his drawings in the trash as well as the desire for my vacuum to not get crowded out of the hallway closet.

The other day we were cleaning out the car, which becomes an involuntary repository of all the school art projects, and I allowed him to pick the items he wanted me to keep and which ones were not worthy of immortality.

And wouldn’t you know, for the most part he chose the projects that were thematic and time-consuming to produce.

Now, if only I could get his permission to ditch the highly unflattering portrait he made of me for Mother’s Day last year in which he proclaimed I was 100 years old, all would be good.