Stop me if you’ve heard this one. Actually, you might have: six million people have. But then, I was late to the weird pirate video, too.

This is tiny little Hunter Hayes, singing that classic Cajun dish, Jambalaya, and accompanying himself on the accordion. Watch that kid go! You can’t tell me that’s not a great arm workout!

Accordions. So hot right now.

Stolen from TheDailyMartini.

And now, you and your munchkin can live the life, the glamor, the dream which is: The Accordion. Note the special deal: buy an accordion, get the bongos for just $26 more! Your rec room will soon be the secret clubhouse of all the budding neighborhood hipsters.

Begun by a mom in her basement up in Northern California, her unique style of handcrafted slippers for children and women have been around for more than a decade.   These “Bon Bons” have silk and velvet uppers with non-skid suede soles.  The website claims that these are for “lounging in style.”

For me, some of the designs are a bit over the top, especially if the only people that are going to see them are my husband, my son, and our betta fish.  However, the fabrics are gorgeous, the craftmanship beautifully done, and I could picture myself in some of the simpler designs.   They run $29.00 for kids, $41.00 for women. 

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Would you purchase these for you and your kids to hang around the house?  At least you can feel completely glamorous while loading the dishwasher!

Ah, those painful conversations. So necessary. So helpful. So conducive to personal growth.

So painful.

We’ve all lived through them.

The facts of life. The facts of other people’s lives. The fact that the drawers of Mommy and Daddy’s nightstands are locked for good reason. All these things and more must be explained to the innocent little children, repeatedly if necessary, so that by the time they reach adulthood they will be au fait with the borders denoting the private parts of life and will refrain from mentioning them at the dinner table. Failing that, it is devoutly to be hoped they will at least know enough to know when to keep their mouths shut about the unmentionable unmentionableness of the unmentionable(s).

Someone needs to explain that to Fireman French here.

An eight-year-old boy had to be freed by firefighters after getting stuck in a pair of handcuffs he found in his mother’s bedroom…The crew had to use industrial metal cutters to free the boy…

Firefighter Dan French told Portsmouth’s The News: ‘The little boy came to the fire station with his grandmother and had the cuffs hanging from one wrist.

“Before we released him I asked if he was on the run from the police but he assured me he wasn’t…

“It’s beyond my wildest imagination why someone would keep handcuffs in their bedroom!”

Just a few days ago Target launched a new baby collection, a collaboration with DwellStudio.  DwellStudio is an upscale designer known for their modern, colorful graphics.  As with most designer team-ups at Target, style is offered at a low price.  And seeing how a regular crib set from the DwellStudio line runs upwards of $384.00, a discount would be deeply appreciated. 

The graphics featured at Target are simpler than the pricier ones, but that is to be expected.  But the looks are similar, and the DwellStudio imprimatur is apparent. And I like that the line is very inclusive.  From rugs to lamps to wall decals, they’ve got you covered. .

Take this Olivia 3-Pc Crib Set, featured at Target and currently on sale for $65.00!

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And compare it to DwellStudio’s Garden Blossom set:

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OK, so the more expensive one is photographed in a prettier room, but the cheaper set is not that far off! Think of how many diapers/bibs/books/whatever you could buy with the savings!

The winter doldrums seem to have grabbed hold of almost everyone I know.  I wish I could go around to everyone’s house with one of those special sun lamps and cheer them up. 

However, seeing as flying is kind of expensive and most of you probably wouldn’t trust me enough to give me your address (I’ve only stalked like, one person in my whole life.  OK, maybe three. I swear, only four) I think I shall simply start focusing on all things spring and spring-like.  It’s right around the corner, you know!

And even though these Peruvian hand-knit backpacks from Bla Bla could be used at any time of the year, they are so bright and fun!  How could they not cheer you up even the tiniest little bit?  If you aren’t cheered up by these, then I’m sorry to say that you have a hopeless case of winter blues.  You should avoid all human contact until March.  Or maybe April.

Are you independently wealthy?  Inherited a large sum of money lately?  Did you make a killing in the real estate market before it went bust?  Did your bank robbery go off without a hitch?

Then I highly suggest you check out The Well-Appointed House  and peruse their children’s collection.  Because you will need quite a bit of money to buy even the cheapest items on the site.

But, it is one of those sites where you oooh and aaah over the unbearable cuteness that you are seeing.  Then, you look at the price, and you still think to yourself, “Damn… but they’re still sooooo cuuuuute!”

I’m going to focus on showing you the lamps, because they are unlike any that I have seen.  Granted, I travel in the wrong social circles to see these types of lighting fixtures in a kid’s room, so I guess that may not be saying much. 

I love that Cow Jumped Over the Moon Lamp so much that I could sleep with it every night.

These handmade, one-of-a-kind items are so expensive that the price isn’t even listed on the website.  And you know what they say, if you have to ask the price, then you can’t afford it.  I’m actually afraid to ask.

Recall, if you will, da Edwards homies from Friday. It’s now time for us to keep it real, yo, and announce the winner of the caption contest.

Jennie Says:
January 11th, 2008 at 8:19 pm

Wangsters Riley, Emily, and Logan wuz perpertratin to punk homies cheeba, a’ite? But dey wuz no playas and OG was gonna cap em if dey crunked up, tru dat! Dey got influinced do a Swayze and word up, got game and bounced…

http://www.thesource4ym.com/teenlingo/

As promised, there was a bonus for gangsta speak which put this one in the clear lead over another tough field. Having combed the internets, or at least Zappos.com, for gangsta rapsta bling, we award the winner the following imaginary yet completely neccesary shades with this year’s “floating lenses”, for enduring the assault of the paparazzi: the Von Zipper “Dharma.”

It doesn’t actually have anything to do with country music, I just needed the beats; fans of the early Baroque period should feel equally comfortable reading this post! We are all non-partisan-and-equal-opportunity-like around these parts, as long as you don’t expect me to actually LISTEN to Garth Brooks.

You wouldn’t make me, would you?

I thought not. And so to today’s per diem topic du jour for today.

Ears.

Specifically:

Ears on hats.

Now, if you follow as many celebrity blogs as I do (and why would you? I get paid for it) you’ll probably know that this is just about the most famous hat in the world right now, and the Garner-Afflecks could probably comfortably retire on their earnings, should they open up a website devoted to selling said chapeaux.

Now, we luv us some hats, we do around these parts. Particularly the parts that are apt to get cold in the wintertime or hot and burnt in the summertime, and particularly on the wee ones. It is our advice (we use, you understand, the royal “we”, as we understand the royal family aren’t using it right now and we want it to feel valued) it is, we say, our advice, to accustom the little ones to the wearing of hats as early and as often as possible.

There are several reasons for this.

One: so their little heads don’t sunburn/freeze, depending on whether you’re in Belize or Boston, Aruba or Aspen.

Two: because sunscreen makes a mess of baby hair and hoods invariably fall down and cover their eyes and they think someone’s blindfolded them for some malicious kidnapping purpose or something and, naturally, begin squalling.

Three: they learn how to untie those strings, velcro and buttons sooner than you’d think and then you’ll have a fight on your hands, if they’re not already accustomed to wearing the darn things.

Four: Ears. Ears on hats. Check it out:

on big people:

Bad idea.

However;

on little people:

Try it for yourself: