Judging by this new Daniel Edwards sculpture, it’s either breastfeeding, really bad portraits, or post-partum depression.

Let’s get in the Tardis, or the souped-up DeLorean, or the Austin Powers Love Bug (your choice) and travel back in time to 1984, a simpler time. A time when future hunks roamed the earth in embroyonic, geeky form, interviewing 13-year-old teddy bear collectors at International Teddy Bear Conventions.

Ladies and/or gentlemen, I give you: Keanu Reeves, Boy Reporter.

via Buzzfeed

The thing very few people know is (and here I am letting you in on a secret that not even the Bilderbergers suspect) is that the first few generations of video games, the ones that came out in the Eighties most particularly, emitted stronger EMFs than the comparatively less-dangerous games we play now. What does this mean? It means that geeks that were forged in the hot fires of Nintendo radiation remain true. They are the few, the proud, the bearers of anime tattoos based on obscure Japanese myth cycles, retold as graphic novels based on computer games. Not that I’ve dated any.

Oh, perish the thought.

Yes, geeks that had their spiritual birth in that magic time, bathed in the warm glow of the vintage, extra-radiatory cathode ray tube, imprinted for life on those characters and those experiences, and they will NEVER forsake them.

Proof:

Gwyneth Paltrow is nothing short of a modern-day Renaissance Woman, a 21st-Century cross between Eleanor Roosevelt, Florence Nightingale, and Queen Marie of Romania. Only hotter, and waaaaaaaaaaay better dressed. If you doubt it, simply ask her, as the delightfully devilish Craig Brown did in the new issue of Vanity Fair. Here we excerpt her Goop-worthy tips on motherhood:

Go

I love film. After a yummy meal for the whole family and some truly great friends, we often go out to see something beautiful and unique.

Here’s a tip for all moms. Never ask young children to pay when you go out to the movie theater. It is simply unfair to ask a four-year-old to pay for herself.

Why not give her the trip as a very special present? That way, you—and she—can learn so much more about what it is to love and to give. Repayment can come later.

Next week, we learn to ride a bicycle with a world-expert bicycle nutritionist.

Yes, it’s time for everyone’s favorite Monday morning Friday caption contest result posting.

The image:

The winnah:

gemdiva Says:
July 31st, 2009 at 11:57 pm

That child proof cap on Mummy’s valium, isn’t.

Our champ gemdiva lines up another trophy. That virtual trophy case must be pretty stuffed by now, eh? Here’s something restorative to put in it: Yvresse Champagne perfume, by YSL.

We are back from the land of the Blogathon flu and feeling somewhat like the below:

Captions in the comments, as always.

And we’re announcing our winner from last week’s Lady Kermit pic:

John Pruitt Says:
July 24th, 2009 at 6:55 pm

You’re going to have go go through a lot of frogs before finding your prince.

Congrats and imaginary swag to John for his first win in our highly-competitive caption contest. What shall we hypothetically present to our champeen? For wet and wild times, what could be better than this snazzy skimboard by Rick Lutz?

God, I hope his name was James. He bought me lunch, you’d think I could make a point of remembering. At this point in Blogathon, however, 20 hours in, I’m lucky if I can remember how to use the alphabet.

In any case, James, while appreciating a good snark and laugh as much as the next man, specifically requested that I post something genuinely moving tonight, and as I was sifting through my Tumblr for blog fodder, I found this video, and played it.

And I started to cry.

So here, James. This aught to do it even if you HAVEN’T stayed up all night. Behold one of the living natural treasures of the West Coast, Shane Koyczan, performing his spoken word poetry on Beethoven.

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!

We are experiencing technical difficulties on the ol’ TeenyManolo blog, but what we wanted to say was, GO HERE and sponsor me blogging 48 posts in 24 hours for charity.

This is a Blogathon post. Don’t just sit there, SPONSOR ME!