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- Part 50
Archive by Author

Babysitter’s Club

Finally, I am one of them.

I’ve seen these moms, or more importantly, heard them, for years.  They would always chatter glibly about going out on weekends with their husbands, or taking some time for themselves and getting a mani-pedi during the week.  I would jealously eavesdrop, wondering how and where they found their totally trusworthy, reliable babysitter.

Because they weren’t talking.

Nobody in their right mind shares the name or number of their babysitter.  Once a good babysitter is found, this information is kept under tighter security measures than embassy communiques.  Some mothers have been known to make their babysitters wear hats and sunglasses on the way in and out of the house, just to keep them unidentifiable.

You see, because once you give out the number, then you are suddenly competing with your friend for the limited number of hours that the babysitter is available.  This can try even the best of mom friendships. 

But now, I’ve got my own.  And bonus points that it is the niece of my next door neighbor, so if something hits the fan, auntie is right next door.

And no, I’m not telling anyone else.  Ever.

Monday Teeny Poll

58% of you told Tom Ford to shove his fake controversy in his inappropriate Native American headdress. 25% thought heavily made-up six year olds were a tad wrong, but 12% saw nothing wrong with it.  Sigh.  The things they do to sell magazines these days.

Today I want to know what you think about a particular chain restaurant.  A chain restaurant that is known more for the waitresses in tight shirts and short shorts than for the actual food.

Your Weekend AMAZING


via Boing Boing

Celebrity Dad Faceoff 2.0

Neil Patrick Harris is completely obliterating his competition, beating out Tom Hardy with 70% of the vote.  Sorry, Tom, maybe too many people hated Inception? Which from what I heard, was a film you either loved or loathed.  I meant to go see it, but these kids of mine keep getting in the way of my ability to go out a lot.

Today I’m featuring someone I’m surprised I’ve never featured before.  Even though he pretty much always plays doofy comedy roles, he actually is quite handsome. 

But, damn him for not being shirtless anywhere!  Ben Stiller, you ruined my streak!


Things I Love: Mustela PhysiObebe

My love affair with this product began with the Munchkin, and has continued with the Munchkinette. 

Where to start?  It is a no-rinse wash for babies that is perfect for (ahem) the holidays when you are staying out later than normal and possibly skipping baths, yet still needing to cleanse sensitive areas.  It is ridiculously easy to use, smells fabulous, and if you just make sure it isn’t cold before applying to baby, then everyone is happy as a clam.  This is one of my favorite shower gifts to give to new moms. 

 It comes in handy way more often than you would think.  Got a kid who gets carsick often?  This is the product for you.  I used it more times than I can count on the Munchkin, who was famous for his ability to get sick in the car on even the shortest of trips.  Takes the smell right off them.  Same for a diaper explosion or any other of the three thousand things that happen to kids that make them dirty and smell not-so-superfantastic.

If you have a baby or know someone that does, get it.  You won’t regret it.  It’s also paraben, triclosan, and pthalate-free.

Happy Hanukkah!

Helena Bonham Carter- Full of Awesome

You know, she may be a bit on the cray-cray side of the fashion spectrum, but there is no denying that this quote, given in this interview, is refreshingly down-to-earth:

“The parenting bit is much harder than the acting bit,” Bonham Carter said. “You just never know what to do. So me and Tim were sort of fed up with getting hurt. ‘What do we now?’ But the parenting class has been really useful. It’s a bit like Parenting Anonymous. There’s a group of parents just spewing out their latest trauma of the week. ’I’m Helena, and I’m a mother.’

Can you imagine many other famous actresses uttering something so humble?  I mean, there are quite a few who do the old “fake humble” thing where they gush about how their kids’ poopy diapers keep them grounded, but to attend a parenting class with other parents?  And sit there and say, “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing?”


Helena, I will have tea with you any day of the week, and trust me, I’ve got lots of parenting trauma stories to share.

And we can also talk about how your son looks exactly like your husband.

In Which I Prevail Upon the Internets for Wisdom

All right, I’ve got a problem.

Well, at least both grandmothers think I have a problem. And when two grandmas think you have a problem, it does really become a problem in more ways than one, if you know what I mean.

I’ll cut right to the chase.  My daughter, she is among the teeniest of Teeny Manolos.

She wasn’t born extremely small, a bit less than seven pounds, a week before her due date.  She was breastfed exclusively until eight months, half formula and half breastmilk for the next month, and then formula exclusively.  I’ll write about my adventures in pumping at another time.

Suffice it to say that girlfriend isn’t really toeing the line in the weight department.  She actually lost weight from her 9 month well-baby to the 12 month well-baby exam.  She rings in at an unimpressive 18 pounds.  Which puts her in the 6th percentile for weight.  She’s in the 14th for height, but she’s never been past the 20th percentile in any category since birth.  Her doctor showed me her plot points on the growth chart, and she is advancing up the curve as she is supposed to.  She’s just on the lower end of it.

Developmentally, she’s right on track in every other way.  She began walking at 10.5 months, and can clap and wave and grasp small objects like nobody’s business.  She’s not talking in words, but her brother pulled the same crap, and didn’t talk until almost 18 months.  When he did, he spoke in perfectly formed sentences, so I’ll cut her a bit of slack on that one.

I would definitely describe her as a picky eater, and not a hearty eater, either.  I think our main problem right now is that she refuses to eat anything she can’t pick up herself.  She is so NOT ready to feed herself with a spoon, though.  I’ve tried and it just ends up in lots of wailing and teeth-gnashing and food on the floor.  She’s much too fond of flinging things onto the floor at this point.

I will add that my husband and myself, we are not small people.  Not in height, or at this stage in our lives, girth.  I’ve always been, ahem, “big-boned” and my husband is a former defensive lineman.  Which is to say, you would never pick a fight with either of us in a bar.  As for the Munchkin, he was always in the 90th percentile or above for height and weight as a baby.  He is now very tall and very, very slim.  However, both sets of gradparents, and great-grandparents, for that matter, are all quite small.  My husband and I are familial aberrations, if you will.

So, it has come to the point where one grandmother is offering to pay for specialists to run tests on baby girl, while the other keeps clucking and making noises about “failure to thrive” and that kind of annoying talk that implicates I am a bad, bad, mother.  Never mind that the child is as loud and rambunctious as any group of drunk bikers. 

Should I worry?  Should I call and order some specialists like my MIL wants me to?  Is it a grandma thing? 

What say you, dear readers?  The readers of the Manolosphere are well-known to be the sharpest crayons in the box, so I await your advice.