Teeny Manolo

Whew! Johhny came thisclose to losing to Colin Firth!  By a 55% to 44% margin, he managed to beat out the oddly delicious Mr. Firth. 

You know, some guys may not be conventionally pretty, but they still manage to make plenty of women’s hearts beat just a teensy bit faster whenever they are up on the screen.  Colin Firth is one of those guys.

I’m going to pit Johhny up against one more of this type of man, and then, we are moving on to bigger and better things for Celebrity Dad Faceoff.   Never fear, it isn’t going away, it’s just going to get way awesomer.  If that’s possible.

vs

I don’t know if you’ve garnered enough information about me to know that I’m a bit, er, picky. I know, you are aghast with shock. Whenever we plan a day trip somewhere, I am the type of person who must come prepared with every single thing we might need. Most of the time the Scarecrow’s needs are taken into account as well, but sometimes I am in a hurry and would like to spend at least a bit more time at our destination than I have packing.

We were walking to the entrance of our travel objective, and my husband was complaining that I had forgotten to pack his hat.

There is something completely wrong with that above sentence, and I’m guessing you will be able to spot it a mile away. Why is that men, who have important jobs and assure us that they do important things all day at work, turn into whining incompetents the second they walk through the door of the house? Or maybe it’s just mine.

Anyhoo, after his complaint about my abject failure to anticipate his every need, I exasperatedly replied, “Why am I responsible for every single thing? Why can’t you be responsible for your own stuff sometimes?”

To which some random man standing a few feet away called out to me, “Because you’re the mom, that’s why!”

My friends, even though I know nothing of martial arts, I had a very strong desire to perform some sort of fluid, graceful movement that would set this impudent person’s knees a-buckling and his body to the pavement, with nary a hair on my head displaced.

But propriety reigned, and I instead laughed. A very fake laugh, it must be noted.

I hope he could tell.

According to Epicurious, PETA has sent a letter to Ben & Jerry’s asking them to replace the cow’s milk used in their ice cream with breast milk. 

A portion of the letter written by PETA Vice President Tracey Reiman:

The fact that human adults consume huge quantities of dairy products made from milk that was meant for a baby cow just doesn’t make sense. Everyone knows that ‘the breast is best,’ so Ben & Jerry’s could do consumers and cows a big favor by making the switch to breast milk.

Ummm, yeah.

Are they not aware that breast milk takes on the flavor of whatever mom ate during the day? That is why breastfeeding women are advised not to eat spicy foods, or foods that may upset baby’s tummy.

I thought at first that Ben & Jerry’s would have a difficult time employing enough women to produce all the milk needed. But then, I realized that sales would most likely drop off radically enough that they wouldn’t be needing to employ anyone at all after a while. 

So with the current economic forecast turning a bit southwards, at least for a bit, how to explain to the kiddos that the salad days of yesteryear may be turning into the boiled cabbage years of tomorrow?

Never fear, I’ve got some tips.

1. When your child whines about not being able to buy the latest incarnation of the iPhone, threaten to get the old telegraph out of the attic.  Assure them that the information transfer is practically as fast.  And yes, they can text in Morse Code.

2.  Learn the 1,001 ways to make a meal out of ground beef and/or ground turkey.

3.  Garage sales and flea markets are great family fun! Especially when you’re the one making the profit!

4. When holes appear in their jeans (and holes are no longer fashionable) tell them chirpily, “Patches are the new black!”

5.  Have your kids set up a lemonade stand with wildly inflated prices. Because no one can resist the lure of cute kids selling lemonade. And hey, every little bit counts.

6.  Don’t call them “hand me downs.” They are vintage.

7. Enhance your children’s math and reading skills at the same time by having them look for and cut out coupons and then calculate the savings.  The family that saves together stays together!

8.  Invest in some cardboard boxes.  Everyone knows that kids would much rather play in the boxes than with the actual toy.  So why not just cut out the middle man?

9.  If your child is so inclined, encourage them to learn a trade.  Because not everyone needs a stockbroker, but everybody needs a plumber!

10.  With the collapse of the United States financial system, it might be a good idea to enroll your child in foreign language classes.  Chinese, perhaps?

Last week I asked why you thought the US has the highest teen pregnancy rate for any industrialized nation, and the largest response was “they know the risks, but do it anyway” with the main excuse for the behavior being that as teens, their long-range thought process was not all that great.

I agree. It seems that we can tell teens lots of things, not to smoke, not to drink, not to have sex, but they do it anyway. Is it to be rebellious? Is the teen brain simply not wired so as to evaluate long-term consequences properly? Or is it an unfortunate combination of the two? If I knew the answer, I think I’d be rich.

I was at the park not so long ago, and I heard a woman talking to her friend. Now lest you think I was eavesdropping, she had a bluetooth on and anyone within a thirty foot radius could hear her. She said something about needing to get home. Why? Because she had to get back before her husband did so that she could hide a credit card bill he didn’t know about.

If it hasn’t happened in your area already, soon you will probably be experiencing cold weather, rain, and snow. Or at least one of those. What shoes to put on those precious feet in the great outdoors when weather happens?

I’ve put together a list of shoes for boys that should be able to take them through the upcoming seasonal weather in comfort and style. Because even if we ladies are not always about the comfort, we certainly find out very quickly that our kids are. These shoes should make everybody happy.

Keen Kids - Dakota (Toddler/Youth) Good shoes for light to moderate rain, featuring a felted inner lining, water-resistant upper and a durable rubber outsole.

Kamik Kids - Snuggy (Infant/Toddler) Great snow boot at a reasonable price. Features quilted, coated nylon upper, zipper closure, and superloft lining.

Western Chief Kids - Cowboy Brown Rainboot(Infant/Toddler) These were just too cute for me to resist! Features two handles for easy put-on, and moisture absorbing liner.

Western Chief Kids Guitar City (Toddler/Youth) All right, I couldn’t resist these, either!

Merrell Kids - Chameleon Thermo Mid (Toddler/Youth) A waterproof leather upper keeps feet dry, as well as featuring 200g Thinsulate(TM) insulation which will keep their tootsies nice and warm in temps as low as -25F/-32C.

Kamik Kids - Snowkone 3 (Toddler/Youth) (Toddler/Youth) Looking for a flexible, easy-on-the-wallet priced snow boot that your kids can actually walk in? This just might be the ticket.

Ecco Kids - Mtn. Peak Chalet Gtx (Toddler/Youth) (Toddler/Youth) This stylish all-weather boot features a 100% waterproof Gore-tex membrane with a suede and textile upper.

Ecco Kids - Mtn. Peak Chalet Gtx (Toddler/Youth) (Bison) - Footwear
Great-looking snow boot that provides comfort and warmth through the season! With a side zipper and bungee closure as well as padded footbed, these shoes may make them want to go outside!

Khombu Kids - Excursion (Toddler/Youth) Another set of very reasonably priced snow boots. They have weatherproof construction along with a Thermolite inner lining with moisture-wicking, anti-fungal properties.

Stride Rite - Scorch (Infant/Toddler/Youth) and Stride Rite - Tritops (Infant/Toddler/Youth) (Infant/Toddler/Youth) These slippers are not for outside, but what little boy would not be delighted with either the dragon or the dinosaur with eyes that light up? Why can’t adult slippers be this cute?

Yes, you read that right.

Black lips are even hotter (supposedly) than red lips this fall.

I’m not really sure how widespread the appeal is for this particular trend, other than the obvious Goth and nightclub set. I can just see the look on all the other kindergarten mothers as I pick up the Munchkin rocking jet-black lips. In fact, I could probably tell the exact moment when they decide to dis-invite me from all upcoming birthday parties.

True black lip products are hard to find, one of the hottest is sparkle-free PUR Black Lipgloss from YSL, available now. In November, Lancome is coming out with Color Fever Gloss in Piha Black, which comes in a set paired with a red gloss, both sparkly. There will be only 500 sets made, available at the Bloomingdale’s 59th Street location in New York, online, as well as at the five Lancome boutiques in the US.

If you really wanted to do a very dark but not necessarily black lip, you might want to try Garden Botanika’s Black Currant Lip Tint, or Revlon’s Super Lustrous Lipstick in Black Berry. Also, one of the best dark lip looks can be had from the Wicked Lovely Lipgloss by Smashbox in Sultry, which is a dark cherry gloss. You can also use the Wicked Lovely Lipliner in Tempt underneath to make it last longer. Or possibly just use the liner and apply a nice shiny gloss over that as well.

The key is finding a dark shade in wine, cherry, or other deep color that works for your skin tone and then making sure it’s nice and glossy. But, I’m not sure this is one trend you’ll be seeing me in this season. 

So, it didn’t take much effort for Johhny to kick Nic to the curb, with a quite embarassing (for Nic) ninety percent of the popular vote.  Presidential candidates could only dream of that kind of support.  Hmmm, mayhap we should start a write-in campaign…

I began to think that I was taking the wrong tack, that I was trying to fight Johnny with beefcake, and Johhny has a different quality altogether.

Sort of like our next challenger.  A bit o’ Brit, anyone?

vs

If only Mom would smoke that cigarette, she wouldn’t be such a grouch!

And yes, even Baby notices those deep, satisfying drags!

Ads from the 50’s, as seen here

Lately Katie Holmes has been pegging her jeans, just like I did back in the 80’s.

And the 80’s bring back warm and fuzzy nostalgia to me, not acid-fueled nightmares of Dexy’s Midnight Runners.

So I can’t help but look at these jeans and breathe a tiny sigh of hope that Katie might single-handedly usher in a new era of denim-wearing.  Gone with the extreme low-rise, muffin-top baring skinny jean and in with the baggy comfortable jeans that allow you to rival any squirrel in acorn storing capabilities!  Perfect for the fall!

Fashion is cyclical, is it not? Are we cycling back to an era where zippers are longer than an inch again?

I mean, I think I actually like it….

Wait, what am I talking about?  Lord help me, there is only one person who can stage an intervention for me.  Only one person who has the fashion savvy and brilliance to guide me out of my misguided affection:

Posh!

Oh crap.  Never mind.

Bring on the pegged jeans!