April 14, 2011 | Teeny Manolo

Archive for April 14th, 2011

Now I Have Seen it All

Thursday, April 14th, 2011
By Glinda


We have now regressed to the point where in order for a child to help out in the kitchen, they must stand on a freaking “safety tower?”

I have never even heard of a child falling off a simple step stool, but here is the Baby Industrial Complex, ready to play on every fear!  What if little Johnny falls backwards while he is washing his hands?  No, that will NOT do!  He must be completely encased in a wooden tower from which there is zero chance his precious head will ever touch the floor!  The horror of even thinking about it is giving me the vapors!

Listen, parents need to buck up and realize that falling off a step stool is a character-building event.   If by some chance a toddler falls off a step stool because they were goofing around or reaching for a knife and became off balance, then a bump on the noggin is a valuable teaching tool!  Next time, they will be more careful, mark my words.  Balance, it is an important life skill.

I’ve got a pretty big kitchen, but having this sticking out in the middle of it while I’m trying to cook would drive me batty.  And what about people who don’t have room for such a thing in their kitchen?  Apparently only people with large kitchens deserve to have their children stay safe.   Too bad for you, small kitchen people!  No accident-preventing wooden towers for your kids!

I read the reviews on this product, and some buyers praised it because their kids also used it as a “puppet theater” or a “fort” or even a “pulpit.” Yeah, well, if I’ve paid a hundred and fifty bucks for the damn thing, it had better deliver a sermon for me every Sunday.

And I don’t want to hear from anybody about how useful it might be for kids with disabilities.  That is a given. 

But we are mostly talking about regular kids, the kind for whom a little fall once in a while can be a good thing.


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