My one year old daughter received many, many toys on Christmas. 

Some would say too many.

I wouldn’t necessarily say that, but I do think she got way too many toys that talk to her.

Oh for the good old days when your toys didn’t say phrases at you all the time!  When you could stare at your stuffed dog and you could pretend it said anything you wanted, not one of twenty canned, pre-recorded phrases.

The one I hate the most is a dog made by Fisher Price that will talk and sing when you press it’s ears/paws/tummy.  The songs are fine, I never have anything against a good rendition of the ABC song.

But I think I hate it because the voice is one that is dripping with saccharine.  The actor who performed for the recordings deliberately pitched her voice much too high, and almost emotes too much, if you know what I mean. 

And personally, I feel it is just wrong for inanimate objects to ask to “Be my friend.”  Am I alone on this?

By some particular quirk of fate, the dog we have is apparently possessed, as it will say the phrases while it is lying on the floor and no one has touched it in over ten minutes. I will be sitting there on the couch, and suddenly a disembodied voice will rise up from the floor.  “I loooove you,” the dog will coo in an annoying singsong way.

That dog had better watch it’s back, because if it keeps spontaneously spouting creepy phrases, I just might find myself spontaneously throwing it in the trash.