November 9, 2010 | Teeny Manolo

Archive for November 9th, 2010

Parenting Rules #27: Do Not Show Your Children Your Miscarried Fetus in a Jar

Tuesday, November 9th, 2010
By Glinda

Sweet Jesus in a can.

That is some f’ed up parenting.

Now, this has absolutely nothing to do with political affiliation.  If it had been Hilary Rodham Clinton’s mother, I would be saying the exact same thing.

First of all, I’m not sure why you would keep your miscarried fetus to take to the hospital. I had a miscarriage in 2007 at about seven weeks, and the last thing I would have wanted to do was to keep the fetus.  Had it not had enough trauma already without me sticking it in a jar and transporting it to the doctor’s?  For what?  Obviously, nothing could be done to save it, so what exactly would be the point? To have some kind of autopsy done?  To dispose of it? I don’t get it. Having a miscarriage was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me, so no need to keep a reminder on the mantle, ya know?

OK, upon further thought, I can possibly see taking the fetus to the hospital for them to dispose of it.  However, I did not have the stomach to deal with the remains, much less the presence of mind to place it somewhere for safe keeping.  And not to be disrespectful, but if you see the fetus as your child, surely you realize the hospital is not going to dispose of it in a loving, caring way.  All right, enough about that.

Right after a miscarriage, you are mentally in a shitty place, there is no doubt.  But what she did? Just wrong on so many levels.  That is where your husband/partner needs to come in and quietly slip you some meds if you are thinking that showing the fetus to young family members is a good idea.

Second, why would you traumatize your child by showing a fetus to them? Even if, like George Bush, the child was a teenager, there is just no excuse to burden your child with your pain like that.  I made a absolute point of never crying in front of my son or acting depressed in any way.  He was four.  It was my problem to deal with, not his.  That is why you are an adult, so that you can supposedly make decisions to shield your children from shit they have no business needing to know about.  If my son had been a teen, I would probably have told him about the miscarriage, but I sure as hell am not going to burn an image of a dead fetus that was his sibling onto his brain.

That is freaking all.

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