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Archive for August 17th, 2010

Single White Female

Tuesday, August 17th, 2010
By Glinda

I’m never alone.

She knows my every move.

Nothing I do escapes her watchful eye.

Whether it’s washing dishes, making lunch for my son, or tending to the plants in the front of the house, she sees it all.

If I leave her field of vision, she gets upset.  Really upset.

Who is this stalker, you ask?  Who is this person who has way too much time on her hands?

Is it my neighbor, who covets my minivan and my lifestyle? Is it a friend, who cuts her hair like mine and steals my clothes?

Nope, it’s the chick sitting over there on the floor, one minute batting her blue eyes and cutely cooing “Ma-mumm,” and the next minute in a fit of true hysteria (today vomiting because she was crying so hard while I had to go the the bathroom, bad mama that I am, with a functioning bladder!) until I am in her sight line again.

Yep, it’s called “separation anxiety” and I think I’d rather have Bridget Fonda trying to take a shot at me.

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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