Why My Minivan Kicks Ass » Teeny Manolo

Why My Minivan Kicks Ass

By Glinda

I love my new-to-me minivan so much, I want to write it bad poetry spritzed with cheap perfume, and emblazon  “Glinda + Minivan= 4EVER” on the envelope.


I’ve become convinced that there is a secret minivan appreciation society, and I am a brand new member.

All those people who hate on minivans?


I know people who have bought themselves a huge lumbering beast of an SUV, hoping to avoid the stigma that comes with driving a minivan.

But us minivan drivers are secretly laughing at them, making the L sign on our foreheads. Er, well, I am, anyway.

Because nothing is as comfy, as roomy, as full of cup-holdery goodness as a minivan. Sitting in my captain’s chair, I feel as if I am queen of the road, and I am still amazed at the fact that I can wave my arm sideways and not hit anything. I can put my daughter in her car seat and not have to bend over to tax my already burdened back. No changing table handy? No problem! I can simply fold away my third row seat into the floor and voila! Instant changing table! There are climate controls and lights for all three rows, and there is an eighth seat that can be installed, although admittedly, the person sitting in it must be approximately the size of a lemur. But! I can still technically fit eight! And I’ve got a lazy-damn-susan in my floor storage compartment, for chrissakes!

As for the cool factor, I don’t care. I will graciously give up my cool to the next generation.

They can have it.

Because opening doors manually? 

For suckers.

5 Responses to “Why My Minivan Kicks Ass”

  1. La Petite Acadienne Says:

    I’ve been lusting after the Mazda 5. It’s a mini-minivan. The third row is pretty small, but it’s there if it’s needed. And it’s a lot easier on gas than most minivans. For us, it’ll be the perfect choice, as we only plan on having two kids, so the third row would only get used if we have to drive one of their friends home or something. I’ve talked to other Mazda 5 owners, who have waxed rhapsodic about it.

  2. Glinda Says:

    @La Petite- Trust me, you WILL be driving other kids around! I got a Honda Odyssey and as you can see, me likey. The only caveat is the gas milage, which is only OK.

    Does the Mazda 5 have a V6? Because if you are hauling around lots of people and things, I would highly recommend a V6

  3. Eilish Says:

    Not the comfy chair!!!

    Really though, every time someone asks what kind of family car they should get and I say “minivan” I get a look. Now, I do not have a minivan, but I only have one child. (I have a little Saturn Vue, which I love and when it finally dies, I’m going to try to get my husband convinced that a Camero is a perfectly acceptible family car.) My sister, however, has a minivan and she loves it. I love riding in it with her. I actually sort of look forward to car trips so we can pack all the little compartments! Minivans are brilliant!

  4. raincoaster Says:

    Minivans are a terrific way of broadcasting “I’M MARRIED” to guys too far away to see the ring.

  5. Cynthia Says:

    We just got a Honda Odyssey too!!!! *high fives*

    I must admit, we were on the verge of being those SUVers… Alas, logic prevailed and we have ourselves a 2010 Odyssey.

    I, too, am in love, love, love.

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