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Archive for July 29th, 2010

Why My Minivan Kicks Ass

Thursday, July 29th, 2010
By Glinda

I love my new-to-me minivan so much, I want to write it bad poetry spritzed with cheap perfume, and emblazon  “Glinda + Minivan= 4EVER” on the envelope.


I’ve become convinced that there is a secret minivan appreciation society, and I am a brand new member.

All those people who hate on minivans?


I know people who have bought themselves a huge lumbering beast of an SUV, hoping to avoid the stigma that comes with driving a minivan.

But us minivan drivers are secretly laughing at them, making the L sign on our foreheads. Er, well, I am, anyway.

Because nothing is as comfy, as roomy, as full of cup-holdery goodness as a minivan. Sitting in my captain’s chair, I feel as if I am queen of the road, and I am still amazed at the fact that I can wave my arm sideways and not hit anything. I can put my daughter in her car seat and not have to bend over to tax my already burdened back. No changing table handy? No problem! I can simply fold away my third row seat into the floor and voila! Instant changing table! There are climate controls and lights for all three rows, and there is an eighth seat that can be installed, although admittedly, the person sitting in it must be approximately the size of a lemur. But! I can still technically fit eight! And I’ve got a lazy-damn-susan in my floor storage compartment, for chrissakes!

As for the cool factor, I don’t care. I will graciously give up my cool to the next generation.

They can have it.

Because opening doors manually? 

For suckers.

Disclaimer: Manolo the Shoeblogger is not Manolo Blahnik
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