June, 2010 | Teeny Manolo - Part 2



Archive for June, 2010


The Suburban Mom’s Secret to Summer Boredom

Thursday, June 24th, 2010
By Glinda

 

One word: Target.

It’s many a mom’s dirty little secret when you’ve got a kid who is moping around the house, claiming they have played with all of their toys and read all of their books. And even if they haven’t really, they feel as if they have, and so their perception becomes your rather unpleasant reality.  Most days you can threaten them with chores or whatnot, but even that gets old after a while.  Being a mean mom is only fun for the first month or so, and then it just gets to be a drag.

In all my years of parenting, I have yet to see a child reject a cheery, “Let’s go to Target!”

I don’t know if it’s me and a reflection of how awesomely boring my life is, but a trip to Target is always a welcome reprieve.  I can’t always buy what I want, but most of the time I am content to look at the pretty serving trays I don’t really need and the cute plates I definitely don’t need. But, there is always something that needs to be bought, even if it is boring.

And as everyone knows, there is cheap, yummy food at Target.  A friend of mine gets her son a soda and popcorn.  Mine?  Make it a pretzel, salty, and an Icee, extra cold.

If you are a kid, the day becomes automatically better when an Icee is in your grip.  And you never know if this will be a brain-freeze kind of day until you try.

Also, there seems to be something magical about accompanying Mom to Target because usually she will cave over buying some sort of little toy or book, because kids are smart enough to know the approximate price range/toy category wherein your weakness lies.  For instance, my son knows better than to ask me for a video game, but is correct in asssuming I will usually buy him art and creativity-related items.

So my advice to you if you have a Target within driving distance, use it to your advantage, and use it wisely.  Else you just might wind up with a much lighter bank account.

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Random Thoughts

Wednesday, June 23rd, 2010
By Glinda

– I was on a “mom support” site, and a woman was asking for tips on how to wean a baby off breastmilk and onto formula. Well, up come the breastfeeding shamers, who try to make her feel bad about wanting to go to formula. To which I say, if you can’t answer the damn question, shut up! The woman didn’t ask for advice on how to keep breastfeeding! She wants to go to formula, not hear your guilt trips!

-My toenail polish is starting to chip. But I’m too lazy to fix it. Maybe I’ll start a new trend.

– My daughter has a little kick piano that has a mode which plays random songs. I cannot identify one of the songs, and I swear it sounds most like “99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall.” I’m pretty sure that’s not what Fisher Price had in mind.

– My son got caught up in an academic frenzy and tried to outdo a second grader in reading comprehension tests they take on the computer. It seems he was randomly choosing books he’d never read based on their high point values, hoping that statistically, he would pass some of the tests. The librarian and the teacher didn’t notice at first, but what was the dead giveaway? The fact that he had taken a test on Gone With the Wind. You know, the first book of choice for every seven year old boy.

– I have come to the conclusion that I dislike most of the girl’s clothing that is out there. Boo.

– Is it wrong for me to say that I am so happy that summer is here?  Now I don’t have to frantically juggle putting my daughter to sleep for the night with getting dinner on the table at a certain time.  Which was truly stressing me out.


Gwen To the Maxi

Tuesday, June 22nd, 2010
By Glinda

I’m not sure about her bangs. You?


Monday Teeny Poll

Monday, June 21st, 2010
By Glinda

Shaving is something fifty eight percent of you could probably do without, according to last week’s poll.  There does come a time when the hair gets to possibly be a bit much, as I hit that mark probably two months after the birth of my daughter.  It was winter and I’d had a C-section, so bear-like limbs were the norm until I personally missed the feel of smooth legs.  Twenty percent said they would get rid of the hair no matter what, and eighteen percent said they would willingly stop the removal process altogether.  Think of the time you would be saving!

Today, I want your reaction to something Mel B. aka Scary Spice said on the George Lopez show recently.  If you don’t feel like watching (the quote is pretty early on) she said that one of her secrets to being fit was having sex with her husband five times a day. Five times a day?


Happy Father’s Day!

Monday, June 21st, 2010
By Glinda

To all the Dads out there!


Celebrity Dad Faceoff 2.0 “Crazy” Edition

Friday, June 18th, 2010
By Glinda

Christian Bale crushed Antonio Banderas under the weight of his chiseled physique, winning with over seventy percent of the vote.  I can admit that Mr. Banderas is a very attractive man, but he just doesn’t ring my bell the way Bale does.  You like how I did that? Yeah, it’s Friday.  At least I tried. 

Today’s contender hails from England, and is well known around the globe for his smooth and soulful sound.  Oh, and a little thing about being married to some chick named Heidi.

christian_bale

VERSUS

Seal_1


Books for Boys: Percy Jackson and The Olympians*

Thursday, June 17th, 2010
By Glinda

Percy Jackson the last olympian

 

“Action, mommy. A really good book has lots of action.”

If you are looking for books that the boy in your life will look forward to reading, take it from my seven year old.  They love action.

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series by Rick Riordan delivers exactly that.  Beginning with The Lighning Thief  and ending with The Last Olympian, even a fairly reluctant reader will be hard-pressed to put the books down.  Not only do they move along briskly, with plenty of the aforementioned action, but there is quite a bit of humor, topped off with a nice dusting of Greek mythology.  I should know,  because I read all of them before my son did.

For, uh, research purposes, of course.

The books follow demigod Percy Jackson through five years of living out a prophecy foretold by the Oracle of Delphi.  Who happens to be a mummy in an attic at the demigod summer camp.  Percy must battle gods and monsters in order to save Mount Olympus, which is located at the top of the Empire State Building. Natch. Throw in some centaurs, labyrinths, Mist, and capricious Greek gods, and tell me how you can possibly resist.

I highly recommend the books for that certain someone who is bound to be whining about being half-dead from boredom in about two weeks from now.

*I bought all of these myself at Target.  No freebies here. Now normally I don’t buy my books at Target, but I have a seven month old, so you’ve got to cut me some slack.


“I Just Came Out of the Jacuzzi, Care for Some Mexicorn?”

Wednesday, June 16th, 2010
By Glinda

Vintage Jolly Green Giant ad

Copyranter via Jezebel









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