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Archive for March 11th, 2010

Things I Hate: Minivans

Thursday, March 11th, 2010
By Glinda

2004 Sienna LE


Let’s get this straight, I am not hating on drivers of minivans, but minivans themselves.  So let’s not have me wake up to find outrage in the comment section, mmmkay?

Honestly, I know of no vehicle that is as uncool to be seen in as a minivan.  Minivans scream practicality, and thus, are not cool.  Because in our society, practicality is for suckers.  It’s all about the looks, man. 

Who cares if your family and all its assorted gear doesn’t fit?  Who cares if it’s a pain to not have an automatic sliding door, or that your kid can barely get themselves up to the running boards?

You look cool, and that is all that counts in America.  Everyone knows that the only people who willingly drive minivans and don’t die a little death every time they start the engines are moms.

And moms=totally lame.

We’re only the ones who gave birth to you, fed you and changed your diapers, clothed you, loved and held you, and raised you to be the best you can be.

Yeah, totally lame.

That, however, is not stopping me from buying a minivan of my very own in the next few weeks.  Because I am tired of driving with my knees shoved up against the dashboard of my beloved but now too-small to fit four and you know, maybe a friend now and then, Honda.  Unless I plan on neither of my children ever inviting a friend with us anywhere.  Or on not taking my rightful place in the neighborhood carpool.

So watch out lame, here I come!

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