I have a certain pet peeve when it comes to the monstrosities that people voluntarily place on their baby’s head. Yes, you heard right, I HATE infant hair bows for girls. You know, the kind that is attached to a headband.

I mean, don’t infants already suffer enough indignities already, what with all the drooling and burping and pooping in public? Do we really have to subject them to insecure parents placing huge fake flowers on their heads?

And I say insecure because I don’t understand why it is so important that it be broadcast to everyone that your hairless infant is A GIRL THANK YOU VERY MUCH, CAN’T YOU TELL BY THE OBNOXIOUS BOW I’VE PLACED ON HER HEAD? Would it be that much harder to correct someone if they thought she was a boy? With all the pink clothes, baby carrier, and blankets, I’m thinking it wouldn’t be hard to figure out anyway.

I also wonder exactly how long it takes for said infant to rip said bow off, as they don’t exactly look like the most comfortable things in the world. Heck, headbands tend to bug even me after a while, much less a young child who would probably prefer being totally naked all the time in the first place. And usually, my headbands don’t have embellishments that are bigger than my entire head, which is the case for many of the infant bows.

So I’m going to swear to you all right now, I will never place one of those, those, things on my daughter’s head, no matter how many I may happen to get at my shower.

And now that Lady GaGa has adopted the hair bow look, can we please officially proclaim the trend dead in the water?

Oh dear. Rather brings to mind Nancy Mitford‘s famous remark:

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.