The image is unspeakable, so of it we will not speak. The winner is unbeatable, and so we will not beat her. Because she wouldn’t like it, and she would send us to our rooms, that’s why.
Rhonda decided that if she was going to have to change dirty diapers, she would do in style, dammit.
So as to avoid charges of a fix, we will forgo the normal presentation of hypothetical swag to the winner and instead will present the following to the subject of the photograph, who could surely use something tasteful to keep off the chill of our collective scorn: the Diane Von Furstenberg golden brown ring chiffon ‘Kynthia’ tunic coverup from Bluefly.com: