Behold the “Vibram Five Fingers
,” a shoe that is to ninja feet what the abominable Croc is to honest, old-fashioned Dutch boy footwear, what the Hummer is to men who have impressive or even just adequate reproductive tackle: in other words, what we have here is yet another example of a voracious consumer class taking a good thing (like bare feet) and spoiling it for the rest of us. Which is, face it, what the middle class seems to spend most of its time doing.
Digression: have you noticed that, no matter who they are, people in the Europe and North America invariably both claim to be middle class (”Oh, we’re just plain Windsors now”) and hate the middle class? It’s true. Self-hatred or branding exercise? But I digress…
We were discussing the world’s ugliest footwear; at this point, the fug is Adult-Only, and we can only pray these things go the way of the (also fugly, but the poor things couldn’t help it) dodo before they come out with a children’s line.
They have a “Classic Edition” as if giving this thing a respectable name could somehow make up for the eye-searing loathesomeness. And they have an even more hideous version which I shall not show you, for those who think their feet just don’t look enough like those of an alien who is wading in a Norwegian Fjord while getting a pedicure from a drunk Cher impersonator.
Not that I’m opinionated about these things.
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on Saturday, June 27th, 2009 at 5:39 pm by raincoaster and is filed under Shoes.
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June 28th, 2009 at 12:46 pm
They are surprisingly comfy though. I tried some on in Edinburgh last year, but i didn’t want to part with the money to own them.
June 29th, 2009 at 9:43 am
they are just about as ugly as feet — go figure.
June 29th, 2009 at 12:14 pm
Your feet must be hideous, Justin, even for a zombie.
September 11th, 2009 at 10:12 am
I have four pairs of these, and the variety of reactions I get while wearing them is entertaining. Some people immediately want to know where they can get some, and some people absolutely recoil in disgust. The range of reactions you’d get if you were walking around naked is probably smaller than with these. I love them. And I REALLY love the fact that there are people out there – like the writer of this blog – that are seriously threatened by these things! And this is coming from a guy who HATES Crocs with a passion!
September 14th, 2009 at 1:21 pm
I agree ith Chris – These are great shoes, and look better than Crocs (which I also hate with a passion, as much as I hate Birkenstock and Uggs) and these are much healthier for your feet. If you have sensitive feet – as I do – or you want to run/hike/walk but you prefer being barefoot, these are great! And they are amazingly comfortable!
December 7th, 2009 at 9:12 pm
I’m really sorry you feel that way about Five Fingers but you’re entitled to your opinion and you can say whatever you want to say.
Fact is though, these shoes are great! It’s not about style but rather it’s about performance here. I own a pair of KSOs and I’ve already ordered another pair (about 3 months later). They are fairly expensive and can be very shocking to look at, but I guarantee your feet will love you for getting them!
Try it, you just might like it.
December 8th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
So, what you’re saying is, they’re ugly. Which is pretty much what I said.
December 27th, 2009 at 12:14 am
SO, YOU ARE NOT INTO THE VIBRAMS FIVE FINGERS?
December 28th, 2009 at 9:24 am
What Justin said!
December 29th, 2009 at 9:32 pm
Your feet look like THAT?