Five Fingers of Fug
Saturday, June 27th, 2009By raincoaster
Behold the “Vibram Five Fingers,” a shoe that is to ninja feet what the abominable Croc is to honest, old-fashioned Dutch boy footwear, what the Hummer is to men who have impressive or even just adequate reproductive tackle: in other words, what we have here is yet another example of a voracious consumer class taking a good thing (like bare feet) and spoiling it for the rest of us. Which is, face it, what the middle class seems to spend most of its time doing.
Digression: have you noticed that, no matter who they are, people in the Europe and North America invariably both claim to be middle class (“Oh, we’re just plain Windsors now”) and hate the middle class? It’s true. Self-hatred or branding exercise? But I digress…
We were discussing the world’s ugliest footwear; at this point, the fug is Adult-Only, and we can only pray these things go the way of the (also fugly, but the poor things couldn’t help it) dodo before they come out with a children’s line.
They have a “Classic Edition” as if giving this thing a respectable name could somehow make up for the eye-searing loathesomeness. And they have an even more hideous version
which I shall not show you, for those who think their feet just don’t look enough like those of an alien who is wading in a Norwegian Fjord while getting a pedicure from a drunk Cher impersonator.
Not that I’m opinionated about these things.