Because life would simply not be complete without a sneaker that features Linus in the pumpkin patch, right?

New Balance is teaming with the Peanuts gang for a series of shoes to be released this October, natch.

I have to say I’m dubious about the success of this line. The current generation of children does not view the Peanuts as any sort of cultural touchstone like those of us who grew up in the 70’s and 80’s. Who amongst us doesn’t remember the special privilege of getting to stay up late to watch all of the Peanuts “television events,” with that cool multi-colored, spiralling “SPECIAL” that would twirl it’s way around your screen? And the very important-sounding music that accompanied it?

Sadly, I don’t think kids such as my son will even be slightly interested in wearing these shoes, and they will only be made in children’s sizes.

I think New Balance is missing their main market, hipsters and nostalgic Gen X’ers.

Um, whut? Could someone please explain to me whether this image is an innuendo-laden bitchslap or simply the punchy product of a blogger’s particularly long Tuesday?