This is how generation wars start. Our Friday image has inspired many inspired captions, but it’s finally time to choose a winner.

TeleriB Says:
June 22nd, 2009 at 11:13 am

Place the infant face down across your forearm (resting your forearm on your leg) and support the infant’s head with your hand. Give four forceful blows to the back with the heel of your hand. You may have to repeat this several times until the obstructing object is coughed out.

Kudos and imaginary swag to TeleriB, who not only won the caption contest but also did so while putting as positive a spin as possible on our somewhat quacked mama duck. What does she virtually win? This intimidatingly-fashionable feather-adorned, burnished gold satin hat from Gold Coast Africa:

Last week I wanted to know how cautious you are about what you read on the internets. A full forty-five pecent said that they take everything they read with a grain of salt. I agree with the majority. Twenty-five percent said that it depends on who is doing the writing, and next came the twenty-one percent who considered themselves “very cautious.” But, I would like to assure that twenty-one percent that I am not a dude living in my mom’s basement. She let me move upstairs.

Anyhoo, when I found out I would be having a girl, I breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Not because I hadn’t wanted another boy, but because I didn’t want to have to wrestle with the decision of circumcision again.