Put a lid on it | Teeny Manolo

Put a lid on it

By raincoaster

I’m a busy girl. Seriously, busy, busy, busy. Between picking the gladiolas out of the altar flowers before Plumcake notices and downloading the dirty bits of Hugh Jackman movies, I have hardly any free time at all. This is why I have a slight blogging backlog; indeed, sometime around 13 or 14 months ago, Glinda challenged me to dig up a hat the Munchkin would tolerate for more than the time it took for him to undo the knot under his chin.

I admit to you, I have failed. I even suggested a real Cavalry Hat, but I guess without the pony to go with it, the ten gallon was just a half-pint. Soooooo… I’m basically going to circle and poke at the Munchkin until we strike the acceptable Hattitudes.

So, here we go. Wish me luck:

Aloha, Grampa

Automatically eliminated: any hat that looks like he stole it off the stiffening corpse of Bing Crosby. Because I want it!

I am the walrus's offspring?
Also eliminated: anything that gives the impression he was conceived at a rave. Don’t get me wrong: I love my Syd Barrett as much as anyone, I just think there’s a time and place and when you’re sitting in a stroller, not old enough to drink coffee, it’s not time yet.

is he a Black Hat or a White Hat tho?

Better: a subtle hat with funky details although black might get a little toasty in semi-desert climes like Californistan.

I've got news for you boy!
Seriously, WHAT is this kid’s problem? He looks wicked cool in that snappy newsboy, and it’s even big enough to provide some shade! Buck up and think of the millions you’ll make selling the Chronicle…uh, Newsweek? Uh, pirated Fark printouts?
If it's good enough for the boy scouts it's good enough for you
How about an authentic pith helmet in cool camo, featherweight and breathable, and custom-made for the Boy Scouts? Come on, if it’s good enough for the Boy Scouts, it’s good enough for me. Sadly, I fear the Playground Peer Pressure Police are dreadfully behind the times and might kick up a fuss. Don’t they know Chanel said after twenty years, anything’s a classic? And at least this hat will never make you look like you fell off the back of a 4×4.
Still with me? I’m serious here: why do I suddenly feel like a Uniform Fetishist’s Version Of The Mom In About a Boy and don’t answer that? Look: It’s got a decent brim to keep the sun and rain off, it’s a nice neutral colour, not as costumey as a cowboy hat, and it’s excellent quality workmanship and materials, so it will last almost as long as your child’s resentment of you for making him wear a hat in the first place.

Whatever you think of my picks, do take my advice on one thing: do NOT play with the Village Hat Shop Virtual Hat Try-On-Inator. Because there goes four solid hours…

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3 Responses to “Put a lid on it”

  1. Glinda Says:

    Actually, I’m kind of digging the first hat.

  2. Glinda Says:

    Oh, and yeah, a black hat is a no-go for sure.

  3. raincoaster Says:

    Me too, but they DO look funny on little boys. Same with those stingybrim straws that all the hipsters are wearing. They’re very “Dino and Bing on the lanai with a cocktail.” That particular hat is available in a TON of prints, though; just click on it to see the rest.

    There are SOME light-coloured reversable hats on Amazon, but the pictures were teensy so I couldn’t really tell what they looked like. Strangely impractical to make a practical hat and then photograph it 10px square so nobody can tell what it looks like.

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