Om Mom, Mom, Mom
By raincoaster
Verily, the record of history is thick with wacky diets (and someday I hope to stumble across The Drinking Woman’s Diet) and among them there are some real lollapalosers of recipes, including the Cabbage Soup Diet (how do you sell 300 pages of “put cabbage in water, cook it, and drink it”?) not to mention oddities like Slug Fritters and their ick ilk. There’s even a sub-group of cannibal-chic dishes like Hufu, human-flavoured tofu, and ClooFu, the George Clooney-flavoured tofu. And anyone who knows what a doula is has heard about the miraculous, all-natural benefits of eating one’s placenta, just like animals which haven’t learned to read, write, walk on their hind legs or exercise bowel control.
Now the world offers a queasy welcome to: placentawiches.
That’s right, folks. Master chefs Chrissy and Kathy Schilling used the placenta from Chrissy’s newborn to spice up pasta, panini and other delicious meals over the weekend — and generously posted pictures of the afterbirth-filled dishes on their Facebook page.
Although doctors claim placenta offers no nutritional benefit for people who already are well-nourished, the sisters believe otherwise.
Among the benefits reported by the self-cannibalizing new mother, hallucinogenic effects must rank as the only one which interests me, but one which, in the current War Against Drugs political climate, we must ignore, lest pregnant women everywhere be shipped off to Gitmo for the proactive protection of American slackers.
Let’s raise a toast to free-range mothers-to-be!
Placenta Cocktail
Ingredients:
1/4 cup fresh, raw placenta
8oz V-8 juice
2 ice cubes
1/2 cup carrotMethod: blend at high speed for 10 seconds. Serve. A tasty thirst quencher!
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need a stiff drink.
April 10th, 2009 at 8:45 am
Knowing raincoaster’s wicked sense of humor, Mr. Henry felt certain she was kidding. Then he clicked the link and saw more placenta recipes, all apparently written in earnest, including placenta spaghetti bolognese. Porca miseria!
The mind reels. The appetite recoils. In the end this may be the best dieting post ever recorded. After reading it, who could face a steak tartar ever again?
April 10th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I am in full “cat with a hairball” mode. This could only be grosser if it was human entrails tartar. I may become a vegan….
April 10th, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I usually try to keep a very open mind about things, but it JUST SNAPPED SHUT.
Possibly forever.
April 11th, 2009 at 7:34 am
I’m thinking PETA is probably really in favour of this. What could be less exploitative than meat which donated itself?