Once, upon a Kindle dreary, I read out a story, Deary
Thanks to many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten law.
While I read it, likely lolling, suddenly there came a squalling,
As of some one bawling, bawling at slights galore.
‘Tis some process-server,’ I muttered, ‘bawling at my locked front door –
Only this, and nothing more.’

Ah, distinctly I remember I was in a bad distemper,
And each seperate dying Semper wrote its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly they sued my pants off; – vainly I said “Hey, you sod off”
But my books ceased to soothe me – sooth, they were Kindled no more.
For the sweet and sonorous story which I’d purchased long before –
Silent now, forevermore.

Awwww, pity the poor vampire! We’ve all been there at storytime, Count Floyd. Just tough it out and, if your back is really to the wall, tell them the monster ate the little boy for asking too many questions. Always works for me.

Dateline: Manolosphere. Breaking: water.

Sorry. It was there. I had to.

Just a quick note to let you know that, as of 15 minutes ago, our good friend and collegue NeverTehBride had gone into labour. And I’m sure she’s better-dressed for the occasion than M.I.A.

In the most unexpected place: GI Joe Action Figures! Yes, the Mighty Morphin Michael is surgically stalking someone…Behold the major metamorphoses of Michael and their eerie parallels in the world of plastic, macho male models. Click it to view in all its forensic glory on Defamer.

As controversial as she is prolific, Octomom is pictured here in all her octo-pregnant glory.

Truly, some sights are too horrible for human eyes. Yes, surely some things are just too ugly to bear, should, in fact, never have been forced upon a world whose delicate sensibilities may never recover.

I refer, of course, to that shirt.

Not as dirty as you’re thinking. Alas?

Now, some persons not a million miles from me have been known to have difficulty getting out of bed, even when they’re not flattened by the flu bug. In fact, some persons not a million miles from me have been known to sleep through fire alarms when, in fact, it was the room next door that was on fire (being awoken by firemen in uniforms is not as pleasant in real life as it is in dreams, in case you’re wondering). And so, anything which adds a note of compulsion to the process of waking up is not just of interest but potentially medically necessary, particularly on certain mornings, although I may have difficulty convincing the tax man that I can write it off.

In the grand tradition of the exploding piggy bank which we have covered in the past and which, of course, comes from the same company, we here present for your delectation or purchase the very MacGyveresque Danger Bomb Alarm Clock. The idea is, the alarm goes off and you have to figure out how to “defuse” the bomb before it shuts up again.  Each morning the defusing puzzle is slightly different:

You’ll be shaked out of bed with explosion sound. To stop the bomb, you have to pull out just one code from 3. The safty code is set randomly every morning. So thrilling!

Now available for pre-order at only $33.11 US(I know, but whatever) it’s guaranteed to jumpstart your day with adrenaline.

Gregory Peck delivered a knockout punch to Kirk Douglas, with Douglas receiving a paltry 15% of the vote. Sorry Kirk!

Today we pit man of style and against man of style. Who will emerge victorious?

versus

And yes, that hungry one just happened to a baby in Sierra Leone. That she breastfed, as she is weaning her one year old, but still has milk.

I just don’t understand exactly what the controversy is all about. Granted I’ve been somewhat under the covers for the past few days, and thus missed the initial furor.

I don’t see this as some sort of horrific exploitation or that she did this for any personal gain. She saw an infant that was hungry, she was able to help, and she did so. Simple as that.

I think that our current American culture has turned breastfeeding into some sort of sacred ritual, when really it is simply nature’s way of feeding infants and babies. Don’t get me wrong, I think breastfeeding is best. But why the demonization of someone who basically acted as a wet nurse? Just because we no longer use wet nurses here in America does not make it wrong for someone else to do so.