Ahhh, even Sidney Poitier could not take the crown from Mr. Peck. What exactly do I have to throw at you guys?

How about this…

versus

It’s a long and twisted road from an innocent Barbie Fashion Show to a labia slip on the runway, but you can trust TeenyManolo to connect the dots for you.

Incidentally, would it be “labia” or “labium”? Enquiring minds want to know.

You know, it’s hard.

It’s hard when you have this fantastic kid in your life and yet for some reason, it’s considered unseemly to say anything positive about their accomplishments  without looking like, well, a braggart. 

Have you ever tried to say something nice about your kid and then the people you are talking to immediately try to one-up you with a story of how their kid is at the top of his class, or the best pitcher on the team, or blah blah blabbbity blah?  I know you have.

But we are the people who love our kids and know them the best! We’re their biggest cheerleaders, and rightly so. 

Today, though, I want us to leave behind the trappings of modesty and shout from the rooftops about something wonderful about the special children in your life.  And if you don’t have a child, it could be a niece or nephew or cousin or the neighbor kid two houses over. 

Do they have the prettiest eyes? The cutest dimples? Are their drawings worthy of an art gallery? Can they make you laugh harder than anyone you know?  There are a million different things that make our kids special.

We here at Teeny Manolo would like to give you a supportive, caring environment in which you can feel free to tell us about the fabulous child in your life without fear of someone next to you claiming that their kid is thisclose to finding a cure for cancer.

So please, feel free to brag away! You have my permission!

Adorable? Absolutely.

We all know that Suri Cruise is a very cute child.

But man, a private audience with Cinderella, Belle, and Mickey and Minnie?

If you’ve ever been to any of the Disney parks, you’ve seen the looong lines that form just to get a picture and a minute-or-two convo with any of the Princesses. I’m guessing Suri was able to bypass all that for her joyous romp on the grass.

That in no way negates the cuteness.

But I’m wondering if Suri is going to grow up thinking she can simply snap her fingers and rainbows will magically appear out of nowhere.

Hell, maybe she can.

I was watching Chris Titus and his Comedy Central special the other day. In it, he has some tips for women about things men really think, but are afraid to tell you.

It ranged from personal things you tell your relatives to the number one thing that bugs them.

Capri pants.

I was shocked.

Do men even really think about capri pants enough to name them the number one thing that bothers them? The comedian claimed that they were leg-stumpifying, cankle-showcasing monstrosities that are neither pants nor shorts. And that pairing them with cork wedges was the worst.

I asked my husband if he loathed capri pants as much as Chris Titus seems to. He tilted his head and thoughtfully responded that he honestly had no reaction to them one way or the other.

And that, my friends, was the right answer because Glinda tends to often find herself wearing capri pants. I’m home-free on the cork wedge front, though.

But what do you think? Are they fashion abominations? Or the perfect length for bridging those in-between weather days? Or maybe Chris Titus just goes out with women that have short legs and bad ankles?

Yohji Yamamoto (Y-3) for Adidas brought out the young ones to their runway show this week in New York.

It’s probably just me, but I find their round, innocent little faces an odd juxtaposition with some of the “tough” streetwear. And truly, any one of those outfits definitely costs more than most of mine! The shoes alone will run you around $160.00.

It seems that black is the new black.

I like black, but on kids I tend to go for more vibrant colors. I mean, if all they wear is black in their pre-teen years, where is the opportunity for rebellion?

How many Barbie-related posts have there been by that title? Surely they number in the thousands, for Barbara Millicent Rogers is the most famous doll the world has ever seen, and in a world of implants and lipo, Ken Paves extensions and MAC cosmetics, what’s historically understood to be the Barbie look is more attainable than ever before.

For good or ill.

But on the Good side of the equation, we grown women can now purchase actual clothes inspired by Barbie and – wait, wait, come back YOU HAVE TO SEE THESE! – they’re actually quite lovely.

For Barbie’s 50th birthday, Mattel commissioned some of the top designers in the world to make Barbie-inspired outfits: Past Barbie, Present Barbie, or Future Barbie, and these, shown Saturday at New York Fashion Week, were the result. Yes, Barbie finally had a full-on fashion show, complete with swag bag. Despite the sneers of a few hardened cynics, the collection was generally well-received.

All photos by my homeboy Kris Krug of Static Photography.

Past Barbie had some snappy, sexy outfits in the Marilyn Monroe vein:

Lyn Devon for Barbie. Past Barbie rocked the Black and White hard!

I don’t know who designed this one but I WANT it!

A classic Barbie look, and one I could really use for this Thursday. Hmmmm…

Not sure if this is Past or Present Barbie, but it’s very reminiscent of early Bruce Oldfield, before he hooked up with Princess Diana and became all about the bling. I’d wear this every damn day if I could afford the cleaning bill, and that goes DOUBLE for the hat.

Moving into Present Barbie era, the colours are softer and there’s enough pink to satisfy even Carey Hart. Am I just old-fashioned, or are the clothes less wearable? Because I do indeed wear a lot of cocktail dresses, but I prefer the kind that stay closed until you decide to open them and whose hems don’t come infused with antigravity devices.

Juicy Couture, but you could probably tell without reading. This girl has to be the Barbiest Barbie in the entire show, and the hair and makeup are perfect. But…is she wearing stencilled socks with open-toed pumps? Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, I don’t think even a Betsey Johnson Barbie would wear those!

ThreeAsFour, and easily an eight in my book. The Big Hair is just Too Big, of course, but I might dig out the mousse and see what I can do in the way of a modified Barbie Do. What else am I gonna do with it, use it as improvised weather stripping?

Kenneth Cole did Ken (so to speak). If black tie with jeans is wrong, I don’t want to be right!

Future Barbie needs a blue eyeshadow intervention, but the clothes were imaginative, sexy and generally wearable, if you happen to be an ageless plastic doll whose life is a cross between a Monte Carlo cabaret and a Malibu beach party.

You can just tell, she’s the fiercest bitch in the square dancing club.

Bob Mackie. Of course! I love this, it’s just so completely Cher Starring As Crazy Horse Stripper Barbie.

And last but not least, the finale, in which each model re-emerged, holding the hand of a little girl wearing a Barbie t-shirt and a coloured tutu, while heart-shaped confetti fell from the ceiling and digital fireworks went off in the background.

Barbie Fashion Show Finale – New York Fashion Week – nitrolicious.com from nitrolicious.com on Vimeo.

Last week, I wanted to know if you agreed with the idea that larger families are falling out of style. A full seventy-four percent of you did. Eighteen percent felt that it depended on exactly how large the family was.

I agree with the majority. Although I do think that as long as the parents have the resources, they can have as many children as they like. Even though I would like to have another child, I don’t think I could see myself having more than two.

As for today’s poll, I want to know what you did this weekend.