Listen, I don’t care anymore. You can scream it in three-inch high headlines. You can charge me only $2.99. I don’t care.

There might have been a time when I was sort of interested in which celebrity was pregnant, or could be. It was a way to pass the time, looking at pictures of them to see if that was just a bit of bloat, or a baby bump.

But now?

I’ve got bigger concerns to worry about. You know, maybe even some little things like the tanking economy and job losses everywhere and the fact that in my state, we aren’t even going to get our state tax refunds!

It seems like over the past three years every star that you can think of, from A to D-listers, has been able to conceive and deliver a baby. You know what, big freaking deal! I’ve done it too! Where is my exclusive spread in People?

Then I have the sneaking feeling that many celebrities use the pregnancy rumors to keep the publicity mill running. Speculation about a pregnancy is a surefire way to get yourself on the cover of something.

I don’t even know these people, so why exactly should I care? It’s not like I’m going to be invited to the baby shower or anything. Or you know, like even see the child in person during my entire lifetime.

So while some may find the obsessing over celebrity tummies a welcome distraction from their woes, I’m done. Finished. Finito.

I hereby declare that I will no longer worry so much about potential celebrity pregnancies and perhaps spend a bit more time reading about the proposed stimulus package.

What about you?

P.S. Jessica Simpson is NOT fat! She is just displaying the tragic effects that high-waisted jeans work on a girl who doesn’t have the hips of a 14 year old boy. And maybe some bad lighting. And maybe some unflattering makeup. And an expensive designer Fendi, but further waist-shortenifying, belt.

P.P.S. Jennifer Aniston, I’ve never been into her for me to be over her.

Win:

Lose: