One of the things that makes me groan inwardly is when the Munchkin’s teacher stands with him after class, hands on his shoulders. That is her signal of “we need to talk.” And this year, I’m thinking I’ve had more than my fair share of talks.

The last one was about the Munchkin and the chain of events that occurred when he failed to properly write some words on his worksheet. Upon being instructed to redo the words correctly, he followed a time-honored tradition of children who are just a bit too smart lazy for their own good and had one of his obliging classmates do it for him. He claims that she offered to help him without being asked, but the true story is forever lost to the mists of time and the conveniently spotty memories of six year olds.

Now, the odd thing is that although that incident was bad enough, the exchange between himself and the teacher was the cause for concern. You see, all she wanted him to do was apologize and say he was sorry for having someone do his work for him.

The teacher, apparently, still does not know the Munchkin very well. To admit he did something wrong is anathema to him, and he will do anything to avoid responsibility. Hmmm, I wonder where he learned that?

Anyhoo, the conversation devolved to the point where the Munchkin was asked how he would feel if one of his toys were taken away?

Never one to be publicly intimidated, the Munchkin replied that it would be just fine, thank you. He wouldn’t care one bit.

The ante was upped. How about one of his favorite toys, such as the Wii?

His reply?

“Go for it!” accompanied by, I kid you not, a fist pump in the air.

I think I’d better reserve a seat in the principal’s office right now and just save everybody the trouble.

For lo, I am laid there (low) with some strange bug that makes it feel exactly like I have a fully functioning electric toothbrush inside my colon. Not that I know exactly what that is like. Oh, perish the thought. This just kinda feels exactly like that.

So I have, in consequence and as a result thereof, been indulging in a few of my favorite activities, namely eating delivered food, watching historic/fantasy action flicks starring hot men (like this one and this other one) and swearing like a rabid truckdriver.

So, don’t do that. At least not until you’ve got your own apartment where nobody can laugh at you.

Do play the following, somewhat earnest but rather sweet video. Play it many times. Because when he’s nursing the black eyes he will be getting on the playground for posting it, at least a high view count will make him feel a little better.

Last week I tried to gauge your mood about the inauguration of our new President and almost seventy percent of you were excited, while fifteen percent felt less than thrilled. Then there was the jaded seventeen percent who felt it was business as usual. I was quite excited, and I have hope tempered with what I think are realistic expectations.

This week, I want to know what you would think if the people from this show suddenly appeared at your job or home, wanting to give you a new wardrobe.

Many of us are in the doldrums of winter, but I’ve got some of the newest spring shoes for girls ranging from dressy to casual that are sure to brighten your day. This season it’s all about floral details, metallic finishes, and even some bling.

And remember, spring isn’t really all that far away!

Lelli Kelly Kids – Primula Dolly Stretch (Toddler/Youth) (Pink Multi) – Footwear So cute! So very floral! This is actually one of the least exuberant of her designs for this spring.

Primigi Kids – Jessenia (Toddler) I really like the flowers on this one, as well as the delicate metallic bands which add visual interest.

Naturino – Nat. 7779 (Infant/Toddler) The color combinations this shoe comes in are superfantastic, and this sunny yellow is my favorite.

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Pampili – 39.122 (Toddler/Youth) I hate to see large, clunky shoes on young girls, and these strappy, delicate dress shoes are the perfect antidote.

Vincent – Blomma (Toddler/Youth) These well-priced, gorgeous rain boots remind me of a Japanese painting.

Primigi Kids – Blair-E (Toddler/Youth) A very cute take on the traditional mary jane, with patent leather and pretty floral details along the hook and loop closure.

Primigi Kids – Firas (Toddler)I’m always on the lookout for fun and unusual colors for girls’ shoes to balance out all the pink and white, and these vibrant orange ones fit the bill nicely.

Pampili – 188.001 (Infant/Toddler) Comes in a variety of colors, this pretty, whimsical shoe has details ranging from ruffles to a bit of sparkle.

KORS Michael Kors Kids – Miss Betti (Youth) Satisfy her wish for some bling with these sandals with crystal emellishments and metallic finish.

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Petit – 30626 (Toddler/Youth) Just a gorgeous shoe, accented with a jeweled flower centerpiece.

For aging women like myself, who long to recapture our youthful good looks, Too Faced cosmetics has a plan. “Let’s take them back to their childhoods!” they cackled in their brainstorming session. “We’ll design a collection around a cartoon character they loved as kids! That’ll get ‘em, hook, line, and sinker!”

Uhhh, no.

I hated the Smurfs, and especially Smurfette, with a passion. She always seemed to be a helpless victim of the patriarchy, and I could never understand why she was the only woman. And really, I didn’t want to.

So, this particular makeup collection’s charms are completely and utterly wasted upon me. But, maybe someone else will want to apply makeup with a blonde, bimbo-y airhead as their inspiration? Looking “So Smurfy” or “Smurfy-Eyed” has never been a goal of mine, and if it’s yours, then all the Smurfy power to you.

Too Faced So Smurfy IlluminationFace Powder

Too Faced Mood Swing Emotionally Activated Lip Gloss

Too Faced So Smurfy Eye Shadow Collection

Too Faced Smurfy-Eyed Liquid Eyeliner

For those of us who’ve always wanted our own political playthings, but are too lazy to bother, say, taking over the world, TyGirlz and the generous toy manufacturers of Japan have banded together to supply our needs.

The President Obama Action figure:

And the Sasha and Malia dolls, whose manufacturer swears any resemblance is entirely coincidental:

But come on, Mattel, where’s Michelle Barbie?

All right, Cary Grant is on a complete tear, obliterating even the smokin’ Marlon Brando.

If he wins this next one, I think I might have to retire Mr. Grant to the Celebrity Dad Faceoff Hall of Fame. Because he’s just. that. good.

Today, I’m fighting fire with fire. You like a sophisticated, polished man?

Well, here you go.

Have fun choosing, because this one’s a toughie.

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