Celebrity Kid Trend Report

Jayden = Out

Jaded = In

In possibly the most delicious Oedipal rejection in celebrity spawn history, Hugh Hefner’s sons have publicly rejected their doddering sire’s notoriously hedonistic lifestyle.

“I’m not going to have multiple girlfriends — not at the same time,” 18-year-old Marston Hefner says in the January issue of Playboy. “I can’t imagine that…”

Cooper also says growing up in the Playboy mansion is overrated.

“They don’t get it when you say, ‘There’s nothing to do there,’” he says. “But when you live here and come here every single day, you see the same things.

“Anybody else would be like, ‘Let’s go see monkeys!’ But I don’t want to see monkeys,” he goes on. “I’d rather go bowling than play with monkeys.”

Which filial rejection, one notes, does not prevent them from posing for magazines in Grandpa Dad’s classic outfit of silk PJs and velvet smoking jacket. Which is fine by me, as they are decorative to look at and anything‘s better than yet another teenager in a hipster t-shirt and skinny jeans.