An Open Letter to Mattel | Teeny Manolo

An Open Letter to Mattel

By Glinda


Dear Mattel,

I heard about your recent court victory against the makers of Bratz dolls for copyright infringement. Congratulations!

From what I understand, as early as February 11 of 2009, you will have complete control over the Bratz line. You can legally do whatever you wish with the line of vampy dolls with big lips and even bigger attitudes hated by parents the world over. Because even though Barbie is anatomically incorrect, at least she doesn’t look like she could be carrying a shank.

If you don’t mind, I have what I think is a superior marketing tactic that will blow you away with its genius.

I propose that Mattel hold what I call “Bratz Bonfires.” That’s right. Mattel has a once-in-a-lifetime chance to bond with communities, and more importantly, potential Barbie customers. Every major city can hold their own “Bratz Bonfire” and it can be a night of hot cocoa, popcorn, and watching those little tramps burn.

Every pre-teen can experience the thrill of throwing her Bratz doll into the growing heap, and who doesn’t love participating in a countdown? Especially one that will result in flames! After holding hands and singing campfire songs as the plastic melts, (you may want to provide optional breathing masks) you can give out a free Barbie promotional item. I mean, I don’t even have a daughter, but I would so totally go to something like that.

Of course, this means that the molds of the Bratz must be destroyed, never to sully a Target shelf again. I urge you to resist the temptation to make money, and instead, think of the children.


10 Responses to “An Open Letter to Mattel”

  1. Jennie Says:

    Is it me or do they remind you of the Trollsens? Big heads, eyes, little shrunken bodies. Actually, I think the law suit should have awarded the copyright to Margaret Keane, the orginator of the big eyed waif. That’s where they came from originally so everyone including the Barbie Droids stole the look. Margaret! Counter Sue! And give me a cut!!!!

  2. Jenn Says:

    Regardless of if you don’t like the Bratz dolls, hundreds of people may lose their jobs due to this verdict. Many already have lost their jobs. MGA also owns and distributes Little Tikes products and sells licensed items such as Zapf products (baby dolls), games and much more than just the Bratz line.

    If you don’t like a product then don’t buy it. If you want to talk about what toys/games have a negative impact on our children let’s start with violent, bloody, and graphic video games and movies. It’s called “desensitizing”. Google it.

    Wake up people this is a historical example of corrupt business practices and corporations that cannot learn to play fair in Corporate America and handle competition. Google Mattel Lawsuits and you will see how many ludicrous and frivolous lawsuits they have instigated.

    Oh, and more more thing; I’m pretty sure that judge was paid off by Mattel’s attorneys.

  3. raincoaster Says:

    And I’m pretty sure the judge could sue you for saying so.

    That people earn a living making crap does not obligate the world to continue to produce crap. If they have all these other toy lines, presumably some of them are good and will sell on their merits and keep the company afloat. If not, perhaps those people should find a different line of work anyway.

  4. casablancabride Says:

    Jenn I think you’re actually making the argument rather than refuting it. I’m not a fan of bloody, graphic video games either, but I would argue that a far larger problem than violence in kids under 18 is the fact that teen pregnancy rates and STD rates are skyrocketing, and I think Bratz dolls and their counterparts are a direct contribution to this problem. It’s called sexual desensitizing. Google it.

    No one here is saying it’s a good thing for people to be losing their jobs. However, as raincoaster aptly pointed out if the company produces so many other fabulous toys they’ll be just fine.

  5. Jenn Says:

    To Raincoaster:

    Ever heard of the first amendment? Yeah, didn’t think so.

    I’m betting you don’t have to work full time or work at all.

    To Casablanca:

    You know why teen pregnancy rates and STD rates are skyrocketing? Parents are NOT doing their job.

  6. casablancabride Says:

    Jenn – the first amendment doesn’t protect slander, and I’m betting you have 0 proof of the judge having been paid off. Also, what does raincoaster’s employment status have to do with this conversation? Oh, right…nothing.

    I never said parents weren’t at fault for teen pregnancy and STD rates, but I think it’s absurd to argue that “desensitizing” only refers to violence. Desensitization is a multi-faceted problem and all of the facets need to be addressed.

    I think you need to take a chill pill…you’re kind of…confrontational for no reason.

  7. raincoaster Says:

    Oh, she’s probably got a good reason. Getting laid off will do that to you.

    I just got laid off from a job today myself (not this one). But that doesn’t mean I want to go manufacture crap, nor does it obligate the world to supply me the opportunity to do so.

    When you lose a job, and I’ve lost a few so I know what I’m talking about here, it’s like grieving, with all those stages including rage. But even grief-stricken people are prohibited from making assertions of fact that are without merit and motivated by malice: that is the definition of slander. Well, technically it’s libel, since it’s on a site. But thankfully the Supreme Court has ruled that legal liability arising from blog comments rests with the commenter, not with the blogger, so it’s not really my problem.

  8. Jennie Says:

    OH! Raincoaster, I’m so sorry! It always sux to get laid off but it’s worse at the holidays!

    Jenn-Look at where Bratz are made…China, not the USA or Canada. Some American advert execs will lose an account and maybe a doll clothing designer will have to find another doll to dress. Not hundreds of jobs for Bratz on our continent.

    As far as the bad influence of toys, 80% of the toys out there are either about violence or sexuality. Children will be influenced negatively unless properly guided by parents. Otherwise, stick to tinkertoys, rag dolls, balls, jump ropes, and classic board games (backgammon, checkers, dominos) STDs and teen pregnancy are more about lack of education than about stick figure dolls. As far as any blame game, I elect the government. Their to blame for everything!! LOL!!!

  9. raincoaster Says:

    As an anarchist, I agree. Blame the government for EVERYTHING!

    And thanks. It wasn’t my only gig, but it was an important one.

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