Nap-ster?

Let us sing now the praises of the nap. Surely there is no endeavor more restorative, and it is blissfully free, equal-opportunity, and accessible.

You know what that means: someone’s figured out a way to package and sell it.

We present for your perusal two different napping services: one we like, one we do not. No sir, we don’t. See if you can guess which is which.

Exhibit A: The Rest Suite

This award-winning spa has a novel way to separate sleep-deprived travellers from their excess cash: they charge a dollar a minute for a “Rest Suite” which includes aromatherapy scents, an eye pillow, and a place to lie down. This makes the YVR Absolute Spa Rest Suite one of the most expensive hotel rooms in the city, at $1440 per day. Let’s hope you don’t sleep through you wakeup call; you might have to remortgage!

Exhibit B: NapSounds

NapSounds is a novel update of the old “Learn Self-Improvement In Your Sleep” tapes that every Dale Carnegie wannabe bought back in the 70′s. A deep, soothing, positively narcoleptic male voice informs you that you are special and taking time for yourself is a good thing and that this 20-minute nap will bring you the energy to power you through the rest of your day. Suggested donation: ten cents per nap.

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is used in the text, binaural beats induce relaxation state and a smooth overall mix enables you to relax quickly and efficiently by feeling natural, peaceful and free.

I had to shut it off two minutes in, though, because I was getting drowsy.