Do you miss the feeling of that umbilical cord?

Would you like to be able to control your teen, even when they are miles and miles away?

Does the thought of annoying them to no end fill you with a perverse sense of pleasure?

Then the new Ford MyKey might just be for you. You see, MyKey is short for “I used to be a teenager myself, I know exactly what you are doing in that car!” Well, the press release didn’t say that exactly, but here at the Manolosphere, we are granted some poetic license. And trust me, teenagers are going to want a poetic license more than a driver’s license when they find out what MyKey does. Or more specifically, what MyKey doesn’t allow them to do.

Does your teen enjoy thumping around the neighborhood, shaking everyone’s windows to the bass line of the new Rihanna tune? Sorry, MyKey only allows the stereo to go up to 44% of its volume.

Does your teen hate buckling those pesky seat belts? No stereo for you!

Do they love to feel the wind in their hair as they drive around town? Well, they had better find a maximum of 80mph’s worth of wind enjoyable, or they’re out of luck.

Just think, by the time the Munchkin is ready to drive in about ten years, technology will have advanced to the point where I can beam a hologram of myself into the car and boom over the speakers, “Stop it this instant, young man!”

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 6th, 2008 at 7:08 am by Glinda and is filed under Big Bad Business, Bring It, Kid news, Oh DAD!, Oh MOM!, Smells Like Teen Spirit. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.