I know these things are mindless, automated random answer generators, but I can’t help but look over my shoulder when I see a result like this:

It’s eerie, I tell ya. Except that last part. This is the costume I’m making for myself this year…a classic? O R’lyeh?

1. Assure your little one that they are the sun, and everyone else, including you, are merely insignificant planets that revolve around them.

2. Give them everything they want as soon as they want it.

3. Let them win every game they ever play against you.

4. Excuse their misbehavior.

5. Never follow through with a threatened consequence.

6. Provide them with no structure.

7. Be a bad example and expect them not to follow it.

8. Allow them to hit you.

9. Be their “friend,” not their parent.

10. Be quick to anger, slow to show affection.

Now, it’s your turn! Fire away at will!

Yes, it’s a double-header of caption contest winnings, which you may or may not know is the traditional way Canadians celebrate our Thanksgiving. Yes, all over the True North people are caption contesting just the way the pioneers once did, only they had to use daguerreotypes and, for the poorest, shadow puppets.

Our first winnah:

dakota Says:
October 13th, 2008 at 4:45 pm

Evan returned with his load of nutritious English children hoisted overhead, proving to his tribe once and for all that he was a mighty fisherman.

Congratulations and imaginary swag to dakota! What shall we hypothetically present for our virtual swag ceremony? How about this snazzy fisherman’s float bracelet from D&G?

And our second contest of the week:

gamma Says:
October 8th, 2008 at 2:16 am
Pimp children come second.

Congrats and imaginary swag to gamma, who can now be considered the Miss Manners of the sex trade. Whether or not this goes on her resume is, however, another matter. And what supersexy imaginary swag do we have for her? How about this swanky Prada shoulder bag to twirl enticingly on the end of its chain (or not).