Martha Stewart is my favorite felon. Not only did the woman come second in the highly competitive cell decorating contest at Camp Cupcake, but she never lets anything phase her, whether it’s hard-line questioning from District Attorneys, gooey come-ons from Conan O’Brian, or mere questions of taste.

See for yourself! Here is a snippet of Martha’s show from October a couple of years ago preparing for Thanksgiving (either she really thinks ahead or she was pandering to the Canadian viewers in hopes of obtaining long-denied permission to enter the country). Note that her mouth-watering food-themed centerpieces were fashioned from the finest fabrics, hypoallergenic stuffing material, and fresh, innocent babies.

from the Hater:

I don’t know why this video is so creepy. Well, actually, I know exactly why this video is so creepy: it features overhead shot after overhead shot of a table full of babies dressed like over-sized food products, their chubby arms and legs squirming beneath the giant foodstuffs that have become their prisons.

I suppose there are worse fates.

It seems the trends this fall on nails are the darker, the better.

Brown can actually be a very flattering color on nails, and it provides a nice visual pop. This season it’s more about the chocolate browns than the tan browns, and here are a few you can try.

Lippmann Collection with Brown Eyed Girl.

Essie Nail Polish in Downtown Brown #455.

China Glaze Chocodisiac.

Opi Nail Polish in Suzi Says Da.