Birthday Games for the 21st Century

Hey, it’s rough out there. As wise bloggers have noted, nobody can pretend that the good old days of innocence and cheap birthday parties are still with us; it’s a whole new world order. Tougher. Meaner. Scarier.

Cryptozoologier.

And birthday party activities are adapting. No longer the sweet, innocent romps of yore, they’ve become cutthroat arenas of parental rivalry and physical danger. Forget that old standard pin the tail on the donkey, unless you use dartguns, laser tag body armour, and a cowboy-maiming, possibly firebreathing donkey recently forcibly retired from the rodeo circuit.

But some touchstones of the Twentieth Century have adapted to our new times and survive, finding new adaptations and applications. Behold the best of these:

Stolen from Newscoma
It’s hard out there for a chimp. Don’t go unarmed.