True Conversation
By Glinda
The Munchkin’s teacher has handed out a sheet which outlines an activity to do with your child every day of the week. We are to pick two of the activities per week, and mark down which ones we have done.
We had already done the ”if you had a magic pencil box, what would be in it” question, which led to some entertaining flights of fancy. These things are meant to be bonding activities which encourage you to discuss things with your child and do things that might normally be a bit out of your comfort zone.
So tonight I thought I would have him complete this sentence: “If I could learn one thing this year, it would be…”
Could he want to learn about quantum physics? How to dissect a frog? How to build a robot? There are so many things my bright boy would want to discover, and I was smiling in anticipatory glee.
The Munchkin paused for a mere second and replied with all the earnestness a five year old can muster, “How to not have to go to school anymore.”
Sigh.
It’s going to be a long decade or so, isn’t it?
September 4th, 2008 at 9:19 am
Oh, the poor Munchkin.
I hope that things turn around and that he enjoys school. Kindergarten is supposed to be fun!
September 4th, 2008 at 1:36 pm
Can you identify the source of the dislike? Is it the teacher, some of the kids in the class, the boring paperwork, or being separated from you? Often with kids that age there is something specific they aren’t able to verbalize. If you ask him if anything “worries” or “concerns” him about kindergarten, can he specify it? (I’ve found kids respond better to the words “worries” or “concerns” than they do to the questions “are you afraid of something?” or “do you not like something?” because they sound more grown-up).
September 4th, 2008 at 3:29 pm
I’ve asked him, and I think it is the boring paperwork. It’s definitely not being separated from me.
My son is a wonderful, wonderful little guy, but he also is extremely stubborn. He sees school as a waste of his time when he could be doing much more constructive things like playing.
I had wondered if he was being challenged, but I have spoken to his teacher and it seems that she is doing a good job at recognizing the areas he is ahead in and having him go above and beyond what is on the worksheet. The problem is that he is advanced in some areas, i.e. reading and math, whereas things like writing (actually forming the letters) and coloring are things he could use work on.
I have often thought that a Montessori school would be the best fit for him, but unfortunately we cannot swing the very pricey tuition. Nor do I necessarily think going back to work to afford the pricey tuition is a good trade-off either.
September 4th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Glinda,
“He sees school as a waste of his time when he could be doing much more constructive things like playing.”
I suspect your situation is not particularly unusual. I would be curious how many little boys in primary school actually like school?
I would agree with marvel if there were a sudden strong objection to school that it would be important to find out the source of his objection. But to sit still and follow someone else’s rules all day no matter what you felt like doing–to be quite frank– what’s to like?
One of my two sons sounds a bit similar to your Munchkin and was quite bored when he first started. However, his attitude changed around 3rd grade due to more challenging work that required more creativity and input from him, and because of being able to hang out with friends at school.
September 4th, 2008 at 8:51 pm
Isn’t claiming to hate school just the sign of a child who is aware of the society around him? I mean, kids are ASSUMED to hate school. If you don’t, you’re labeled some kind of weirdo. Maybe he’s just doing what he feels is expected and proper.
How does he actually act when it’s time to go to school? How does he sound about it after he gets home?
September 4th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
After I posted the comment above, I skimmed an article in some random parenting magazine (dr’s appt waiting room lit) about choosing a kindergarten for kids. The author commented that one teacher told him that “kids used to not hate school until 4th or 5th grade, now they hate it in kindergarten,” the issue being an increased emphasis on academic achievement and preparing kids for the standardized testing–so there are more worksheets and less free-form play.
And then I went to the preschool open house for my daughter, where the preschool teacher announced that she would NOT be doing worksheets in class. Sensory-motor development is a much more effective way for children at that age to learn (and extends to kindergarten-aged kids as well–up to age 7, according to the parenting magazine article). So I heard the same thing twice in the same day!
I feel badly for the Munchkin, trapped in a school system that focuses on worksheets. It probably isn’t the most effective way for him to learn, given his age and gender (the good Lord did not design small boys to sit still at tables and color worksheets quietly to themselves). His instinct is probably correct, in that he would learn more faster if he were playing in a hands-on manner rather than coloring worksheets.
Could a reward system be instituted? Like a sticker chart (at home), in which he gets a sticker for each worksheet he completes, and when he gets a certain number of stickers, he gets a reward? (Anything you want–special movie night, small (cheap) toy, special dessert, special weekend field trip to a free park, extra book at bedtime, whatever it is that he likes, finds motivating, does not break the bank, and fits with your priorities). Something to make the worksheet worth his time! This is not bribery. This is learning at an early age that hard work and perseverance brings rewards.