Teeny Manolo

I know the Ice Cream War was a movie, but the Marshmallow War should not only be a movie; it should be a whole series, like American Gladiators only sticky.

Last Friday, Darlene Ake’s Wewahitchka Elementary School Pre-Kindergarteners discovered a loophole in the district’s Code of Conduct.

No guns, no knives, no weapons of mass destruction are allowed on Gulf County school grounds, no exceptions.

But nothing in the district’s Code of Conduct prohibits the possession of jumbo marshmallows or their use in waging attacks against fellow Pre-Kindergarteners, their parents and School Superintendent Tim Wilder.

Nothing could stop Ake’s students from engaging in a ritual marshmallow fight on school grounds and in plain view of the Wewahitchka public.

I would so TOTALLY watch that show.

Makeup should be fun.

It should look good, make me feel good, and as a bonus, smell good.

These lip balms by on10 do just that.  Playing with a retro vibe and using high quality natural and organic ingredients, they will provide much olfactory pleasure, and they also have a pleasant taste.  I have the Hershey’s Almond, which I bought because almond is actually one of my all-time favorite scents, but it fell out of favor with makeup/perfume manufacturers for quite a while.   And now I get to smell it every time I slather it on my lips, so that can only be a good thing.

These balms are not heavy or greasy, but go on lightly, at least for a balm.  With scents inspired by Schweppe’s and Hershey’s, how much more fun could you possibly have?

on10 Schweppes Lip Balm Ultra-Moisturizing Trio SPF 15 This trio of retro tins contains Schweppes Pink Grapefruit Seltzer, Tonic Water, and Lime soda flavors.

on10 Hershey’s Lip Balm Ultra-Moisturizing Trio SPF 15 Includes three cute tins of Hershey’s Vanilla Creme, Milk Chocolate, and Almond flavors. 

Captions in the comments, paramedics on the sidelines.

Passed along by Spirit Fingers

In last week’s faceoff, Brad Pitt won over Matt Damon by just a little bit.  Which got me to thinking, many of you have stated in the comments that a certain celebrity Dad wasn’t talented enough, or intellectually stimulating enough for you to vote for him, even though he is very hot (see Matthew McConaughey).

Now I am going to give you the ultimate beauty vs. brains choice.  Not that one is totally stupid, and not that the other one is ugly.  But.  One will never be a doctoral candidate, and the other will probably never be asked to do Playgirl.

Let’s see if you are all about the IQ and talent, or if a nice six-pack is enough to persuade you to abandon your lofty ideals.

vs

Oh, my. I wonder who at Bayer’s ad agency thought that these charming images of spit-roasted children, ripped, apparently, from the virtual pages of a DailyCandy email (DailyCandyHell?) would sell burn ointment to Egyptians? Yes, it’s a speculative ad, not a real one, but still…Perhaps the secret lies in this comment from octopusink, over at Gawker:

You have to consider the target demographic. While in the US, the cannibal mother market is considered more niche, in Egypt it’s pretty mainstream. Anyone who’s ever tasted an egyptian child knows why.

Thanks for the clarification. I think.

From Copyranter via Gawker

This year, the Munchkin requires a backpack for school.  So of course, I go to Target to check out the selection. I have a shameful addiction to Target that I don’t like to talk about, but I will admit going there to look at backpacks.  And uh, maybe ten or fifteen other things.  It’s a disease, I’m telling you. 

Anyhoo, I was singularly unimpressed.  I didn’t like the quality of any of them, and the garish graphics of The Hulk and Spiderman and whatnot didn’t win me over either.  I have this really big problem with buying something like a backpack, which will be used the entire year (and possibly beyond) and then having a character on it that is suddenly “uncool” or that he doesn’t like anymore. 

I decided to go online, just to see what there was, out there in backpack land.  And then I found this:

The Solid Classmate Backpack from Land’s End. For about nine bucks more than what they charge at Target, this is as its name suggests, solid. The construction is fabulous, the shoulder pads cushy. There are lots of fun compartments, even a secret velcro one. It comes in a lot of colors, and also happens to come in sizes for kids ages 4-7, which was very important to me. Nothing worse than a backpack almost as big as the kid carrying it. Oh, and Real Simple Magazine (which I also lurve) rated it “Best Backpack” for ages 4-7.

I highly recommend this backpack, and if you hurry, you can use code INSIDER and PIN 534534534 to get free shipping. 

Say hello to Tavi, a 12-year-old fashion blogger who is the very embodiment of superfantastic. While your common-or-garden tween angst appears to have put a temporary crimp in the blogging style, we have hope that she’ll again take to her keyboard and, with time, perhaps realize that no, Katie Holmes should not have worn black socks with those gladiator sandal heels.

Until such time as she makes a triumphant return to the blogosphere (ETA 36 hours) we can trawl the archives, enjoying such gems as: My New Best Friends

Normally I would say I want to kidnap them, but since we’re possibly the same age I shall instead befriend them. We’ll make secret clubs and eat soup we made out of tree bark and run around with mops on our heads and eat bugs. You’re extremely jealous you’re no longer 12 years old, aren’t you?

Damn straight.

Tough economic times are hitting everyone, including teens looking for the perfect back-to-school outfits.

The LA Times recently reported that “Thrifty Chic” is now the new cool.  Teens are shopping at places such as vintage clothing stores, Ross, and Wal-Mart for their fall wardrobes.  The harder it is to find the clothes, the more they will appreciate them.  Or, at least that’s the theory, anyway. Vintage items are the most coveted, as it is possible to score stylish, well made clothing for the same price as a new, more cheaply made garment.

I have to say that I fully embrace this new turn of events.  I don’t have a teenager (yet) but it’s about time kids realized that demanding their parents buy them multiple pairs of 7 Jeans (retailing for 150.00 and up) every year was just a bit on the conspicuous consumption side of things.

Let them think they have stumbled upon something novel, something new that only their generation has thought of.  Let these teens discover for themselves the thrill of the hunt, the quest for that perfect boyfriend sweater or Jackie-O inspired wool dress.

This quote from the article warms the cockles of my shriveled little heart:

Wearing frayed shorts, ankle boots and a T-shirt that said “L.A’s Wasted Youth” on the front, Maddy moved methodically through the store, eventually spotting exactly what she wanted: a tan Member’s Only jacket for $35.

“I’m so happy,” she said, heading for the fitting room. “I’ve been looking for a Members Only jacket forever.”

You know, I can’t wait to tell my 90 year old grandfather that he is totally on-trend. 

Love home-made pancakes and waffles, but just don’t have those lazy three minutes to throw the ingredients together? Well fret no more: the organic Batter Blaster is here!

Yes, this is real. Aerosol pancake batter.

God, I’m a sucker for ridonkulous retro commercials.

Not content with dressing the anatomically impossible Barbie in tame outfits like fairy princesses and snow queens, Mattel decided to finally give Barbie the outift her figure has been crying out for all along.

Yes, Black Canary Barbie (based on a comic book character) is certain to captivate that certain elusive demographic Mattel has yet to successfully reach. That of the obsessed fanboy living in his mother’s basement.

Oh, and if a few little girls happen to see their favorite doll dressed like a dominatrix, complete with fishnets, uber-shiny latex and groin-grinding boots, well, that’s apparently not their problem.