Monday Teeny Poll
By Glinda
Last week’s poll regarding Southwest Airlines and their actions against a particular family ignited quite the firestorm in the comment section, but had fifty six percent claiming they didn’t have enough information to make a decision about the situation one way or another. Thirty two percent felt that since two of the children had disabilities, (although it was not made public which of the children the airline took issue with) Southwest should have been a bit kinder.
This week, I’m going to ask a question that I wonder why I haven’t asked before, as most people tend to have a strong opinion about the topic.
July 28th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
“Corporal punishment” is a term allowing of very wide latitude, so we must take the actions on a case-by-case basis. The smack on the rear end of the misbehaving child is acceptable; grabbing said child by the hair and banging her head against the wall is abuse.
July 29th, 2008 at 2:01 am
I totally agree with Annalucia. A swat on the rear or a smack on the hand coupled with the word “No” can effectively get the point across. I’m not sure I would consider that “corporal punishment”, though. To me “corporal punishment” is waiting in your room until Dad/Mom gets home and wallops you ’til you can’t sit down, and that’s just wrong.
July 29th, 2008 at 7:02 am
I think it’s a case by case basis, though as Annalucia (beautiful name, btw) says, the odd smack is fine; any greater than that would be a cause for concern.
July 29th, 2008 at 10:28 am
to add to what the other two said (which I agree with completely), it also depends on the nature of the offense. If the child is endangering himself, then there is something to be said for a bit of aversion training with a smack on the rear, so that they associate stoves, light sockets, etc. with unpleasurable experiences.
Unfortunately, many parents use corporal punishment when they’re just at the end of their rope with fatigue or frustration. It’s totally understandable, but at that point, the spanking is more about the parent’s state of mind than it is about what the child is doing wrong, and it’s doubtful as to whether or not any lessons are being learned by the child. But, none of us are perfect, and we all do the best we can and hope that they turn out okay.
July 29th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
Here is the Amer Assoc of Pediatricians policy statement on disciplining kids, with an interesting summary statement at the end:
http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;101/4/723
(I think the link is public access; my apologies if not)
In general, any form of spanking is discouraged by the AAP, because it is 1) not any more effective than other forms of discipline and 2) might lead to a more violence-prone or aggressive child.
Time-outs or loss of privileges work much better for most kids under most circumstances.
That said, there are some children and some occasions where a swat on the rear would not be inappropriate. I like the recommendations I learned from a senior and very experienced pediatrician–IF parents choose to use some form of corporal punishment, the rules are:
1. Only spank only with the open hand, on the butt, through the clothes. (no brushes, belts, etc)
2. If you leave a mark, it’s abusive.
3. Only use corporal punishment for offenses that endanger life or limb (touching a hot stove, running out into the street, etc).
4. Never hit in anger.
Which basically means I agree with all the other commenters!!!
July 30th, 2008 at 12:45 am
I think an appropriately timed spanking, done by a responsible parent is far more effective in the long run than some of the horrible things I hear people say to their children. If done correctly, a spanking doesn’t have to happen very often, as the mere threat of one becomes the real deterrent. (I know, as a child, I would have done practically anything to avoid a spanking out of the shear embarrassment it caused.) Verbal abuse, however, is long-lasting and does not seem to garner the negative attention that spanking does. I’m at a loss to understand why.
July 30th, 2008 at 4:17 am
Because it doesn’t leave visible marks. Also: you cannot prevent mean people from breeding, but you CAN generally stop them from beating their children.
As for me, I could handle any amount of verbal abuse, but my response to the threat of “The Wooden Spoon” was to take my mother’s wooden spoons out into the back garden and bury them a foot deep. Problem solved as far as I was concerned.
Think about it from your own perspective: if your boss yelled at you, would it bother you as much as if he hit you?