I have to admit I do have discussions along the same lines with moms of other kids who are about my daughter’s age. I do not mean to set up the questions as a competition, though–I’m often just seeking advice for navigating various stages. (When was your daughter ready to potty-train? How did you do it? etc. Translation: Help me! Help me! Or, What books do your children read? Translation: We’ve been stuck on curious george for six months; please please please suggest a new book. Etc.)

I say, address this need. But not by the endless and repetitive questions. I think it is important to say something, and have it be humorous. Like, “You seem to be asking a lot of questions, are you a recruiter for Harvard?” or “Wasn’t this on the exam last time?” or “What’s with all the questions, are you a secret agent for the FBI?” And smile and be positive about it. Validate that her kid is developing just fine, tell her kid is super cool and it is great the kids can hang out. And then emphasize the beauty of individual development.

And then don’t be a victim, stop answering the questions.

Sorry for the unsolicited advice! I just can’t help myself!

Mrs. Hall

And this goes on well past the teen years! My husband’s grandmother told me the other day, she still sits around with her friends saying “so what does your grandson do? I seeee…” and “my son’s wife is a college grad. What does your daughter-in-law do?”

I just had a mom ask what my son got on the SAT.

I was really tempted to say something outrageous, “Well he received a perfect score. It was been such a pain with MIT, Harvard etc calling nonstop. The College Board called also, they want to publish his essay. According to the follks at the college board there is a possibility his essay is worthy of a Nobel prize in literature.”