They Grow Up So Fast
By raincoasterI’m relatively sure we’ve already used that headline (and will again, no doubt) but what else can you call a blog post about stripper heels for babies?
Yes, she said Stripper Heels For Babies.
heežlaržižous [he-lair-ee-uhs] - noun:
extremely funny, completely soft, fully functional
high heel crib shoes for babies.
Not intended for walking (heel will collapse with weight).
Not intended to harm children in any way.
WARNING: May cause extreme smiling and hysterical laughter when in use (this is completely normal).
You know what? No, it’s not. Not normal, unless your last name is Spears, and if this doesn’t physically hurt your child, imagine the tsunamis of psychological damage these babies can cause, if not now then in junior high when Stan’s basketball team get ahold of his baby book.
Just. No. What is this? “Baby needs a new pair of CFMP’s?”
via Dlisted and Crunk&Disorderly
June 13th, 2008 at 12:21 am
Holy F**kballs! I thought it was out of line to dress children like baby Brittanys. This is obscene. It’s JonBene to the nth degree.
June 13th, 2008 at 1:37 am
It’ll go well with the kid’s line from House of Dereon.
June 13th, 2008 at 7:48 am
“Not intended to harm children in any way”??? Perhaps no immediate physical harm, but the danger to the psyche is just waiting in the wings. Silliest thing I’ve seen this week.
June 13th, 2008 at 11:02 am
If I could shoot lasers out of my eyes, one of my first targets would be the creators of this product.
June 13th, 2008 at 12:54 pm
What is the purpose of the “crib shoe,” or any shoe for the child who is nowhere near ready to walk? If it is for warmth, one can put on the extra layer of socks. If it is to be cute, the bare baby feets are extremely cute and need no artificial enhancement whatsoever.
The children of the Annalucia each received their first pair of shoes about the time they were starting to walk, that is to say, twelve months or thereabouts. None are any the worse for not having worn silly shoes as infants.
June 13th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
The purpose of the “crib shoe” is to extract money from the pockets of parents-who-should-know-better and transfer said money to the coffers of
“crib shoe” manufacturers, distributors, and retailers. Which, truth be told, is the sole purpose of MANY baby items on the market.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:16 pm
I was just about to email the Manolo about these abominations when I thought I’d check your blog first. These are so appalling, with their Sex and the City-ization of infants.
June 13th, 2008 at 8:20 pm
I wouldn’t email this to the Manolo. His constitution is just recovering from the Croc madness. It would set him back. Really, it would be cruel.
June 15th, 2008 at 5:45 am
I mean what? What? You say what?
OMG my poor brain cant compute this… It is just so WRONG!
July 3rd, 2008 at 11:53 pm
Okay so where do you draw the line? Its okay to dress baby in other cute goofy things, or adult fashion inspired infant wear (come on, tattoo art and such) but this gag gift has you all in fits over how “tacky” it is? I think its a joke, perhaps best used for halloween?
July 4th, 2008 at 12:56 am
Not from what I’ve seen of their marketing; it’s supposed to be a “gift” item. As for where you draw the line, that’s easy: you draw the line at sex. Goofy is fine. Tacky is fine. Sexy is not fine.