Comments on: The Graduate http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/ Celebrating the Joys of Parenting and Childhood Fri, 05 Dec 2008 01:16:51 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.2 By: J http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14945 J Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:24:14 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14945 Maya's 'graduated' twice now, from Kindergarten, and then from 5th grade. They hold 'graduations' from the middle school, so she'll 'graduate' from 8th grade as well. By the time she actually graduates (see, no quotes!) from High School, she won't even know why it's such a big deal. And yes, I harp against these faux 'graduations', and I think they're lame, but I attend and applaud just as heartily as all of the other parents. Maya’s ‘graduated’ twice now, from Kindergarten, and then from 5th grade. They hold ‘graduations’ from the middle school, so she’ll ‘graduate’ from 8th grade as well. By the time she actually graduates (see, no quotes!) from High School, she won’t even know why it’s such a big deal.

And yes, I harp against these faux ‘graduations’, and I think they’re lame, but I attend and applaud just as heartily as all of the other parents.

]]> By: marvel http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14884 marvel Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:38:35 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14884 P.S. Here is a link to the study I think I was remembering: http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2007/02/27/study_college_students_more_narcissistic/ P.S. Here is a link to the study I think I was remembering:

http://www.boston.com/news/education/higher/articles/2007/02/27/study_college_students_more_narcissistic/

]]> By: marvel http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14879 marvel Fri, 13 Jun 2008 02:27:28 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14879 I spent a year tutoring a 6th grade child from an underprivileged neighborhood who didn't yet know her times tables, nor could she write a complete sentence. I spent an entire hour one night listening to her spew back all the self-esteem mantras she had been taught. She was "going to go places," and "no one was going to keep her down," because "she was special" and "she was somebody" and she "had it what took" and she was going to succeed (she wanted to be a pro basketball star) and I couldn't help but think, child, you aren't going to be able to hold down a job at McDonald's with your current skill set, and you're going to think it's all the fault of "the Man," when in fact, your school system has SERIOUSLY let you down. I spent a year tutoring a 6th grade child from an underprivileged neighborhood who didn’t yet know her times tables, nor could she write a complete sentence. I spent an entire hour one night listening to her spew back all the self-esteem mantras she had been taught. She was “going to go places,” and “no one was going to keep her down,” because “she was special” and “she was somebody” and she “had it what took” and she was going to succeed (she wanted to be a pro basketball star) and I couldn’t help but think, child, you aren’t going to be able to hold down a job at McDonald’s with your current skill set, and you’re going to think it’s all the fault of “the Man,” when in fact, your school system has SERIOUSLY let you down.

]]> By: raincoaster http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14878 raincoaster Fri, 13 Jun 2008 01:54:15 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14878 It all reminds me of that Chris Rock bit about the differences between Black People and "that word you can't use." I love Chris Rock. It all reminds me of that Chris Rock bit about the differences between Black People and “that word you can’t use.” I love Chris Rock.

]]> By: me http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14873 me Thu, 12 Jun 2008 23:18:23 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14873 My dear, you have not seen inflated self-esteem until you've seen my school district. I can't indulge details, but trust me. Sometimes, I worry that with our concern for their fragile little egos now, we're actually setting the kids up for failure in college, never mind the real world. My dear, you have not seen inflated self-esteem until you’ve seen my school district. I can’t indulge details, but trust me. Sometimes, I worry that with our concern for their fragile little egos now, we’re actually setting the kids up for failure in college, never mind the real world.

]]> By: Jennie http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14858 Jennie Thu, 12 Jun 2008 18:20:02 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14858 Whew! It's not just me! I was invite to 3 "graduation" parties. From kindergarten! On one of the invites was a list of places the kid had registered! Arrrrrghhh! And don't get me started on the bumper stickers! "Someone saw my child do the right thing". Is it that rare that when the kid does the right thing you need to post it? The schools guilt the parents into buying this stuff and the kids are upset if the sticker is not prominently displayed. And the child doesn't realize this is absurd. They just don't want to be different. Whew! It’s not just me! I was invite to 3 “graduation” parties. From kindergarten! On one of the invites was a list of places the kid had registered! Arrrrrghhh! And don’t get me started on the bumper stickers! “Someone saw my child do the right thing”. Is it that rare that when the kid does the right thing you need to post it? The schools guilt the parents into buying this stuff and the kids are upset if the sticker is not prominently displayed. And the child doesn’t realize this is absurd. They just don’t want to be different.

]]> By: marvel http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14852 marvel Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:38:30 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14852 Helen: I can't believe you're going to miss your own son's graduation! Bob: It's not a graduation! He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade. Helen: It's a ceremony. Bob: It's psychotic! They keep coming up with new ways to celebrate mediocrity! I love that movie. Have seen some interesting discussions regarding instilling "esteem" in kids, and that today's efforts of treating everyone as equally specially for doing stuff that should just be expected (like showing up to class) actually creates unhappy little narcissists, whereas helping children work hard and succeed at difficult tasks and rewarding appropriate will actually instill the necessary self-confidence and "esteem" that is needed. Unconditional loving but pushing kids to conquer challenges--a hard balance to achieve as a parent and a society. Helen: I can’t believe you’re going to miss your own son’s graduation!
Bob: It’s not a graduation! He is moving from the 4th grade to the 5th grade.
Helen: It’s a ceremony.
Bob: It’s psychotic! They keep coming up with new ways to celebrate mediocrity!

I love that movie.

Have seen some interesting discussions regarding instilling “esteem” in kids, and that today’s efforts of treating everyone as equally specially for doing stuff that should just be expected (like showing up to class) actually creates unhappy little narcissists, whereas helping children work hard and succeed at difficult tasks and rewarding appropriate will actually instill the necessary self-confidence and “esteem” that is needed. Unconditional loving but pushing kids to conquer challenges–a hard balance to achieve as a parent and a society.

]]> By: dgm http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14848 dgm Thu, 12 Jun 2008 16:30:52 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14848 I hear you, sister. That is the lesson of the awesomely awesome "The Incredibles," is it not? Chicklet, you don't have to be childless to roll your eyes at the way schools and parents overindulge in their kids. :-) It's equally disgusting to see how they pressure them to get top grades in elementary school. If a six year old doesn't make principal's list, parents must hire a tutor or else the kid will never amount to anything. Don't EVEN get me started...it's pathetic. I hear you, sister. That is the lesson of the awesomely awesome “The Incredibles,” is it not?

Chicklet, you don’t have to be childless to roll your eyes at the way schools and parents overindulge in their kids. :-) It’s equally disgusting to see how they pressure them to get top grades in elementary school. If a six year old doesn’t make principal’s list, parents must hire a tutor or else the kid will never amount to anything.

Don’t EVEN get me started…it’s pathetic.

]]> By: Alaina http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14845 Alaina Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:15:50 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14845 Actually, at my high school graduation in 2000, our valedictorian (one of my friends) had to sit there and watch while another more photogenic and popular girl gave a super sappy speech. There's almost no point to being valedictorian anymore. Actually, at my high school graduation in 2000, our valedictorian (one of my friends) had to sit there and watch while another more photogenic and popular girl gave a super sappy speech. There’s almost no point to being valedictorian anymore.

]]> By: Chicklet http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14842 Chicklet Thu, 12 Jun 2008 15:06:43 +0000 http://teenymanolo.com/2008/06/12/graduation/#comment-14842 Thank you, Glinda! I had wondered the same thing about the spate of pre-school "graduations" and the granting of prizes for mere existence, and chalked it up to my non-parent status. It's refreshing to hear a parent question today's attitudes. Next you'll be telling us you don't bring your four-year-old to R-rated movies! :) Thank you, Glinda! I had wondered the same thing about the spate of pre-school “graduations” and the granting of prizes for mere existence, and chalked it up to my non-parent status. It’s refreshing to hear a parent question today’s attitudes. Next you’ll be telling us you don’t bring your four-year-old to R-rated movies! :)

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