I’m relatively sure we’ve already used that headline (and will again, no doubt) but what else can you call a blog post about stripper heels for babies?

Yes, she said Stripper Heels For Babies.

heežlaržižous [he-lair-ee-uhs] – noun:
extremely funny, completely soft, fully functional
high heel crib shoes for babies.

Not intended for walking (heel will collapse with weight).

Not intended to harm children in any way.

WARNING: May cause extreme smiling and hysterical laughter when in use (this is completely normal).

You know what? No, it’s not. Not normal, unless your last name is Spears, and if this doesn’t physically hurt your child, imagine the tsunamis of psychological damage these babies can cause, if not now then in junior high when Stan’s basketball team get ahold of his baby book.

Just. No. What is this? “Baby needs a new pair of CFMP’s?”

via Dlisted and Crunk&Disorderly

Today my son will “graduate” from preschool.

I feel embarassed just writing that.

I understand the impulse to mark the occasion. Sort of.

But to have a big assembly, complete with musical numbers, to mark the move up to kindergarten just seems a bit over the top. Or, it could just be a reason for the school to charge twenty bucks for the video.

Are today’s children so lacking in self-esteem that they must be given a certificate for every single thing that they attempt? I mean, yes, I guess they “earned” the right to move on to the next grade level, but as no grades were ever given, the kid who licked glue all year gets the same thing as the one who can read one grade level ahead. Or even the kid who never did his homework.

I am sick and tired of the “everybody is special” vibe given out by all the schools. How are we to compete globally if we are raising a bunch of people who got awards simply for showing up? What happened to first place? What happened to the best in the class? Will they begin doing away with valedictorians because it might hurt someone’s feelings that another is recognized for their superior grades?

However, you will of course find me at the special event, probably with my video camera.

It’s the peer pressure.